the stupid things people say

Oh lord, doesn't your boyfriend's dad sound like a right little charmer?? Don't let him make you feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong and if he can't see that you've been helping his son through a very very difficult time then it's him with the massive problem, not you. Added to which, what your boyfriend does with his sickness pension is HIS business and if that were to include supporting you, that's the square root of nothing to do with his dad. Don't start an argument with the man, it sounds like that's what he's trying to provoke for some bizarre reason, come on here and let off steam but if you respond to him in any way, do it when you're calm and rational, not when you're tired, fed up and frazzled otherwise you could come across as unreasonable. Plus it puts your poor boyfriend in a bit of an awkward position. Perhaps you could have a word with your boyfriend and explain to him that he needs to make it clear to his father that you are supporting yourself and him because what is being said abuot you is hurtful. Sometimes inlaws are just a nightmare, I've had some proper run ins with mine, some people get nice ones, the rest of us get ones who can most kindly be described as our cross to bear in life. You sound to be doing a sterling job in difficult circumstances so don't let anyone else tell you differently. Your boyfriend's dad needs to grow up and realise that during treatment for cancer, 2 weeks before a major operation is not the time to start picking a fight with your son's girlfriend. He may feel a bit pushed out that your boyfriend is leaning on you rather than his family. Whatever his reason, never forget that he is the one out of order here, not you.

All the best and keep smiling even if you have to visualise your boyfriend's dad getting chased across a field by an angry herd of cows to do it! Vikki xxx

thanks heaps :) yeah i think if and when he does aproach me i'l be cool calm and collect! its very hard, but my boyfriend is on my side which makes me feel supported :)