ovarian cancer

Hi All Well I survived my 2nd chemo on Monday, they still had trouble getting the line in as they say my viens are very deep but one nurse eventually got it in. Chemo started about 10.30 and finally got away about 5.30 so it is a long tiring day but I can only hope it is doing some good. My hair is falling out in handfalls now which is veryupsetting, have got a wig and a couple of scalfs so am trying to get my head around this at the moment. My 2nd grandchild is due in 10 days time so am hoping I will be able to help my daughter then with her other little one who is17 months old. It is so hard thinking I might not be around whilst they are growing up I want to do so much with them but I can only hope and pray I will be around for a while. My hubby seems quite depressed at the moment too he has always been so hopeful that I will be o.k. but I think is now realising I may not be, I m trying to encourge him to get back into his hobby photgraphy it will give him something else to think about. Have so many lovely friends who visit me but no one really understands what we are all going though 24 hours a day its hard to get it out of your head that you may soon die. They keep asking me at work when do I think I will be back and as I am 64 I probably should give my notice in but after 20 odd years in a job it is difficult to do it just seems its another thing that is ending and I did love my job in the hospital dealing with patients, but maybe now I should just concentrate on spending time with my son, daughter and family. I m not really a miserable person but some days it does really get you down, you cant really make any plans and I find that hard to do as I always used to be thinking of the future when hubby and I were both retired and what we would do and now I dont think that will happen and it breaks my heart to think of him on his own as he is not good at managing. Love to everyone on site. Ellen X