Well another day of feeling a bit rough, although better than yesterday. Managed to find enough energy to get a suit for the wedding on Sat. The bride wants me to join in the choir for Parry's "I was glad" but am not sure at? the moment that the dry trhoat is up to it!
As someone who lives on their own, I am sometimes a bit worried as to what is happening to me. My oncologist wouldn't give me a prognosis but said you will know when the end is coming. Easy to say, but what I am looking for? The question always arises - am I being paranoid? We all get sore mouths and throats when we are healthy and think njothing of them. But with the big C in the background it is easy to read too much into them.
Having my line flush and bloods on Friday so have to hope that anything untoward would be picked up.
I am not scared of the end itself but am concerned that I won't know when I can't cope anymore on my own. I don't want my family to have to deal with more than necessary so hope that I can get into a hospice for the final push. I really don't want them to go through what so many of you wonderful carers have to.
Enough already, love to all
Mike
