A cancer diagnosis can have a devastating & debilitating effect on your mental health, plunging you into a darkness that only you can see.
I'm not crazy but I've spent a lifetime, since childhood, struggling with extreme depression, anxiety & panic attacks which believe me, at times, makes you feel crazy. Its extremely difficult for someone who has never experienced mental illness to truly understand it & it is equally as difficult for a person with a mental illness to fully describe the daily struggle.
For me it's as if my mind was trying to die whilst my body was fighting to live, so when I received a cancer diagnosis, it was as if my body had also given up on me and had joined my mind to conspire against me. My first feeling was devastation followed by a roller coaster of emotions, feelings, thoughts & experiences.
So, I thought, maybe, if I shared some of my experiences in a blog then someone may benefit In someway; even if just reading my blog distracts you for a while from your own turmoil.
All I ask is not to be judged as I'm not a martyr, I'm not looking for sympathy & I'm not feeling sorry for myself; I simply decided to share part of my journey with you & hope that my honesty may help someone somewhere.
I'm not crazy but my mental illness is!
