Today i'm feeling a bit stronger about the shock news the family recieved on monday - that my mum has only weeks left. I have a great support network with close friends and family but i feel numb all the time. I am less tearful today but I lack any motivation to do anything and I keep drifting off and staring into space and can take me a while to 'snap out of it'
My mum is very pratical and had already started organising how she wants her funeral and what songs we think represent our time together that can be played, im not strong enough to think about this yet and im dreading next week. She wants to go through her jewelry and clothes and seperate into piles of what I would like and what to take to charity shops etc it all just feels so wrong and so quick as 2 weeks aho she had a MRI scan and it was all clear and now all of a sudden they say there is nothing else they can do to save her.
My mum is my best friend and the thought of continuing the rest of my life without her makes me feel sick, i am only 23 and her not been at my wedding or seeing her first granchild scared me more than i can say.
I am hoping that I can stay strong for her and enjoy the rest of our time together to the full, she says she has no regrets and that her and my dad have lived an amazing life together but im scared the closer i get to her in the nest few weeks will only make it harder when the day comes.
