hiya is any one else(stupid question)in fear of his prostate cancer starting imrt in july and really worried about the future i have wife and family but its not nice to keep burdoning them with my aches and pains and tiredness
FormerMember
You do have to bring them into the loop. They need to know you are going to feel very tired. If in your anxiety you are pushing them away, you will cause them worse anguish than sharing your worries with them.
I don't know at all how things are going with your illness, but when I was diagnosed I had a few fears about dying, but mostly about leaving my husband with all the clearing out of my stuff and passing on the important bits to the relatives doing our genealogy.
My method for dealing with the fright that wakes you up in the middle of the night, is to go out on a bright day, or a pouring with rain one, but in the daylight anyway. Sit somewhere outside, and worry for 5 minutes. Do it every day, and you will a)start to be bored with it and b) scare off the gremlins that are eating away at your courage in the middle of the night. I never managed more than 3 minutes, and I was down to 30 seconds before I was walking away from it. I think about 5 sessions were enough for me, but keep on doing it until you have it licked. The worry I mean.
It is just as difficult for the family of the patient as for the patient. They don't know if you are in pain, how long it lasts, and if you don't share that, they will worry much more than you do. So share it with them. It will reduce its terrors all round because you will all be there to fight the fear and irrational worry. Your chances with the cancer itself are not affected by positive thinking, but your happiness at the time of the illness can be altered by your whole family. I found it a very bonding and uplifting experience, and several tensenesses in the family were removed. I made at least one new friend at that time, whose father was also suffering with the same cancer that I had, but his was much more advanced than mine. Maybe my support of her helped her through his decline and death, and her very kind support of me made a lot of difference.
It is a nasty disease, but there are a lot of people walking round who have recovered and are getting on with their lives.
