Latest statistics show that there are more than 3 million people living with cancer in the UK and that, on average, someone is diagnosed with cancer at least every 90 seconds... and yet, I never thought that it would happen to me.
I was 42 years old. A husband and a father. I’d just finished three years of intense psychotherapy to deal with crippling high levels of shame, self-criticism, anxiety, and depression. I was finally happy for the first time in a long time.
Four months later, I was told I had cancer. Three months after that, I was told that I was going to die and, even though no one can tell you exactly how long you’ve got, I was told it could be as little as two months.
There’s no way to describe how you might feel when a doctor tells you that they can’t cure your cancer. That it will get progressively worse. That it will kill you. My first reactions were ones of denial, anger, fear, and disbelief. Not only had I been handed a death sentence, but I also had a beautiful 5 year old daughter, and the idea of leaving her in only a matter of months was unbearable, no… unthinkable.
The first thing I did was sign the consent form for chemotherapy. Then, when I got home, I typed… ‘has anyone survived terminal cancer’ into a search engine, and what I read gave me hope. Hope that I could live longer than expected. Hope that I could do the unexpected. In essence, that’s what this blog is. It’s a story of hope. My story of hope, and now I want to share it with you.
Incidentally, you might have noticed that I didn’t say that I am dying, I said that I was going to die. It’s a subtle difference maybe but the fact remains that I am not dying. Yes, I have terminal cancer and yes, there is no cure – indeed, it’s expected that it will be the cause of my death, however, as it is right now, we’ve been able to control the disease and even shrink the tumours.
What this means in reality is that I’m currently living symptom free, and I’m living for longer than expected (almost two years instead of two months). My daughter will now be 7 in May, and thankfully, I’m still here making new memories with her every day. I also feel as though I’m living my best life, and now, I want to help you to live well with cancer.
Here's (almost) everything you might need to know...
What type of cancer do you have?
I have stage 4 gastro oesophageal junction (GOJ) cancer (the junction where the oesophogus joins the stomach).
When we’re you diagnosed?
I was diagnosed with stage 4 gastro oesophageal junction (GOJ) cancer in July 2023, however, I was first diagnosed with cancer in April 2023. This is because they originally (mis)diagnosed it as stage 3 testicular cancer.
What was the prognosis?
My Oncologist told me that there was no cure and surgery was not an option. My life expectancy was 2-3 months if I did nothing or chemotherapy didn’t work and possibly 9-12 months if I had chemotherapy and it worked.
What were your symptoms?
Lower back pain that wasn’t get any better over time (caused by enlarged lymph nodes) plus difficulty swallowing, unintentional weight loss, persistent indigestion and pain behind my breastbone.
Did you have any conventional treatment?
Yes. I believe that conventional treatments still offer the best chance of survival and the first thing I did (each time) was sign the consent form for chemotherapy. My last palliative chemotherapy treatment was in October 2023 and my cancer was stable for 12 months before we started immunotherapy… Which brings us to the next question, why did I start immunotherapy if my cancer was stable? My Oncologist explained that for most cancers 12 months is the longest you can expect cancer to respond before it starts growing again. He asked if I wanted to resume chemotherapy, however, by this point I had become more interested in immunotherapy as the best treatment for me because it uses our immune system to fight cancer.
What are your thoughts on alternative and complimentary therapies?
Well first, there is a big difference between the two and yet people often think they’re the same. They’re not. I’m a big fan of complimentary therapy and I have made wholesale changes to my diet and lifestyle alongside conventional medical treatment. I find that many of these alternative therapies, which are used instead of medical treatment, have the potential to cause serious harm and often aren’t backed by any meaningful evidence. It is not for me to tell you which you should choose although I would urge you to consider all of the ‘facts’ (and not just opinions). There is no doubt in my mind that there are people who have beaten cancer, and I want to join them, but I don’t believe it was quackery that cured them. I do believe, however, that a lot of cancer cases could be prevented with only diet and nutrition.
Which diet do you follow?
I don’t follow any diet although a lot of the foods I eat can be found in Mediterranean diets. Almost all of the food I eat is plant based, however, I am not a vegan and I do eat poultry, eggs and fish in moderation (around 2-3 times per week). I don’t eat red or processed meat. My diet is filled with a variety of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans, nuts and seeds. I drink either black coffee or coffee with (unsweetened) non-dairy milk and no sugar, syrup or sweeteners. I also drink green, rooibos and herbal teas with nothing added. For a treat I will usually pick something that is gluten free and plant based (there are some yummy deserts and ice creams) and I eat a few chunks of 100% cocoa dark chocolate every day. I reserve sugary drinks or snacks for special occasions and the same goes for alcohol. I don’t tell myself I can’t have something though and if I want to eat meat, dairy, gluten, cakes… I will so long as this is this doesn’t become a habit. It should be the exception and not the rule.
Why did you start your blog?
To share my unique cancer story (every cancer story is unique) and provide information that is hopefully helpful to people who either have cancer or know someone who is living with cancer. Even if you are neither of those people I still believe you can still learn a lot from my blog about living well. I genuinely believe there are things I’ve done which have boosted my immune system; improved my overall health and well-being; reduced toxins and, ultimately, given me some control in my fight against cancer and it’s treatment. I could’ve died within 2-3 months of receiving my original diagnosis and yet here I am, almost two years later, and I’m not just surviving; I’m thriving and I want you to too.
Why should I follow you?
Well you’re gonna hopefully get helpful and informative posts about the things that matter most to you like coping with cancer, living with cancer and anti-cancer dietsand nutritio. You also get a promise that I won’t ever try and sell you anything because I’m not in this for the money and my posts will be open, honest and, more importantly, REAL.
Have you beaten cancer?
No. But I want to. And until someone tells me that my cancer can no longer be controlled, I’ll never give up hope. I’ve adopted a positive attitude since the start, and I truly believe that the things I do have helped me to live longer than expected and have a better quality of life. That’s what it’s about for me, and I’m living my best life (and Im doing it with a terminal cancer diagnosis).
Are you really symptom free?
Well, in terms of symptoms from my cancer, then yes, I am living symptom free. I still struggle with other things, though. I have stage 3 chronic kidney disease, which comes with its own range of symptoms. I also have two urethra stents fitted, which can also cause super-painful muscle cramps. I would say that fatigue and pain are the main things I deal with most days.
NEXT: First Reaction to a Cancer Diagnosis
