I feel like I need somewhere to write everything down and to try and process my feelings...I'd better start with some background.
My mum first battled cancer in 2011, she had a persistent cough and sore throat and had multiple blood tests at our GP surgery & was told her white blood count was high so her body was showing signs of infection etc given multiple antibiotics and sent on her way. She didn't give up and kept going back, one time seen by our GP and a trainee Dr who examined her throat & saw something so referred her to the hospital who found a tiny cancerous growth on her vocal chord. She had targeted radiotherapy which got rid of it and she recovered fully.
Fast forward to 2014 ...Me, my husband and daughter moved back in with my mum as she was struggling with Rheumatoid Arthritis...fast forward again to Nov 2016, mum called me into her room one morning & asked me to look at a lump she'd found on her breast...it was very large so we immediately called the Drs and got an appointment the next day, less than 2 weeks later we were at the breast care clinic who told her it was cancer in BOTH breasts and her lymph nodes. She would need chemo, a double mastectomy and lymph node removal and possibly radiotherapy.
The chemo was awful and really knocked her about, she ended up with a blood clot which then caused her to have a heart attack mid way through her chemo treatment, after being treated for her heart attack she restarted chemo, had the surgery and then the radiotherapy.
She developed lymphodema in March 2018, a lot of swelling and pain in her breast area, they drained the fluid but the site where they drained it took over 5 months to heal, during these investigations into the lymphodema they carried out a CT scan which showed a growth on her sternum. We went to see her oncologist who explained she had bone mets - incurable bone cancer - she was started on Denosumab injections which are designed to slow the spread of the cancer and keep it contained. If it doesn't stay contained then there was talk of more chemo.
Then in July 2018 she was complaining of back pain, she put this down to the lymphodema causing her to sit hunched causing the pain in her shoulder blade, she was also becoming breathless a lot but only when going upstairs etc. We visited the GP multiple times and was prescribed pain killers, one evening in Sept she became extremely breathless and we visited the GP the next day who listened to her chest and advised us to visit A&E immediately as she could hear fluid on mums lung. We did, she was admitted and taken off her blood thinners to allow them to perform the chest drain a few days later. The fluid was successfully drained and she was sent home however before they sent her home the Dr told her the fluid they drained was cancer.
I read her discharge notes this morning and from what I can decipher the cancer on her sternum has gotten bigger and possibly spread to her lungs as there was mention of malignant pleural effusion. We are due to have an appointment with her oncologist in the next 2.5 weeks (we're just waiting for an appointment letter) she was due to have a CT scan next Friday but they cancelled that as she had one in the hospital and then the oncologist appointment would've been 2 weeks after that so I might call the oncologist secretary next week and see if they have the date yet as I need to get the date to my husband so he can work from home so I can go with mum to the hospital.
So many thoughts are running through my head...how long will she have left? How will I hope towards the end? Will mum want to go through chemo again? And if she doesn't is thay going to mean she's in pain? How will I explain this to the kids? It's going to be hard on them as we all live under the same roof.
