I feel so helpless

1 minute read time.

My Mother had surgery back in april to remove a blockage in Her bowel and it was there the surgeons descovered a tumour.  After the op My Mother developed pneumonia and was rushed to ICU, there she was placed on a ventilator and at one stage it was touch and go. Thankfully she pulled through but then a week later developed fistulas around her surgery scars which are still active now. My mother is sixty six and the most wonderful example of a human being. The complications of surgery have meant her chemotherapy treatment has been put on hold indefinately as she is to weak to withstand any treatment at this point. My mothers diagnosis was dukes c cancer and I fear unless she receives chemo soon she will become terminal. At the moment My Mam is living through pain hour after hour and  hasn`t eaten for four months. I have been banging on doors of consultants and specialists to try and get things moving but  it seems to be progressing slowly.I fear time is key. After much pressing My mums consultant has refered Her to a fistula specialist, but the wait is five weeks just for an initial assessment. I am going out of my mind as things seem to take so long and I fear it will be to little to late. In the meantime My mother is so high on painkillers She doesn`t know whats real and not, its so heartbraking, iI am at a loss. 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Martin,

    Keep Banging at those doors until someone with a bit of authority comes to see you. Dont let him go until you get the answers you want about your Mums treatment. You shouldnt have to go banging on doors for your Mum to get her proper treatment

    But if thats what it takes so be it. As long as you get an answer. All the Best and take care. my thoughts are with you and your Mum tonight.

    Take care and be safe Sarsfield.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Martin.

    I am sorry to hear your mum is so poorly. My Dad also had surgery to remove a blockage in his bowel in May which was a tumour and had spread to his liver and surrounding lymph nodes. Diagnosed grade 4. They removed the bowel tumour and 27 lymph nodes  and Dad had a right hemicolectomy. If you read the bowel groups on this site  you will see more of my Dads journey. To date it now seems possible my Dad has developed a fistula. We will know more next week. Like you I am at such a loss, as if he does have a fistula it will be a massive set back Over the last few days he has become very poorly again and it is just devastating to watch and not to be able to do anything about it. Keep pushing the doctors for your Mum. Do whatever it takes to get her that initial assessment sooner. I know your fear, so please message me anytime as I would like to know how your Mum and you are doing and I will offer you all the support I can.

    My thoughts are with you and your Mum and I send you both my very best wishes.

    Nancy

    Nancy

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hopefully I can ease your mind a little.

    I too had Dukes C Bowel Cancer this time last year. After my op I had to wait 3 months before I could have chemo.

    My oncologist said to me that the Chemo is Adjuvant, (a back up just in case any little cell is floating around the body.)

    He said the likelyhood was that the surgery had rid me of any cancer as the surgeon was happy that he got it all with a wide margin. ( Surrounding tissue)

    Chances are your mum is free from any cancer. Having chemo after bowel surgery if the tumour is quite localised ( mine had gone into the closet lymphs) is just for backup as well with radiotherapy.

    I refused radiotherapy as it was likely that it would harm my healthy bowel.

    What you need to do is to talk to your mums oncologist ask all the questions that are scaring you right now. Write down a list so as you don't forget. Many of us can't think of anything to ask when faced with someone asking us if we have any questions.

    Stick around on this site there are alot of helpful and caring people on here.

    Good Luck Julie X