Am I the only one who now questions everything and everyone since getting ovarian cancer. Friends and family, who it must be hard for to see me go through this, I just question them all the time in my mind, are they doing that out of sympathy for me or do they actually want to be with me. Feel I have to be cheerful all the time, saying Im fine, everbody I meet saying your looking well, as if Im not supposed to be!!! Just get so damn tired being positive for everyone and not making anyone feel awkward. Have said before on blog someone very close to me, who I classed as a very good friend for many years couldnt deal with cancer and walked, it has shaken me. Sometimes feel you can only rely on yourself. This cancer is a pain in the a.., nobody tells you the emotional as well as the physical side of it, the chemo is just the start of it!!! Sorry if I sound like a moaner, not usually like this but just get so fed up with being this person with cancer.
