Never ending.

First there is the new chemo, and feeling nauseous. Then there is pain, a lot of pain, in the arm and shoulder. Pain medications which cause nausea, and only partly control the pain. Then Markus just has to get erysipelas, or St Anthony's Fire, a streptococcal infection, in his leg. So he gets penicillin which causes more nausea. And I have to be dumb enough to get the flu, a really nasty variety, and can't keep it to myself. I get antibiotics and they make me nearly as nauseous as the flu did. Now Markus has the same - with a soaring temperature which came down just in time to stop him being hospitalised. And he has the same antibiotics, only stronger. More nausea, not improved by the coughing. I can't get any nourishment down him at all. A couple of glasses of milk since Tuesday, that's all. He even has Haldol to combat feeling sick - not tremendously successfully. He feels worn out, and so do I. Our holiday in England has receded into the future, but we both want to go so much. But he has to feel better first, has to feel better and be better so that he can continue with the chemo, which seemed to be working ok. But how can he if he can't eat? It's his birthday on Sunday, and his wonderful sister and her two daughters and Markus's own daughter are coming, I hope. There was a party planned for tomorrow, but we've had to cancel it. Sometimes it feels as if everything is working against you. Let's hope that, just for once, things change tomorrow. It's the first of August, time for a change.