First there is the new chemo, and feeling nauseous. Then there is pain, a lot of pain, in the arm and shoulder. Pain medications which cause nausea, and only partly control the pain. Then Markus just has to get erysipelas, or St Anthony's Fire, a streptococcal infection, in his leg. So he gets penicillin which causes more nausea. And I have to be dumb enough to get the flu, a really nasty variety, and can't keep it to myself. I get antibiotics and they make me nearly as nauseous as the flu did. Now Markus has the same - with a soaring temperature which came down just in time to stop him being hospitalised. And he has the same antibiotics, only stronger. More nausea, not improved by the coughing. I can't get any nourishment down him at all. A couple of glasses of milk since Tuesday, that's all. He even has Haldol to combat feeling sick - not tremendously successfully.
He feels worn out, and so do I. Our holiday in England has receded into the future, but we both want to go so much. But he has to feel better first, has to feel better and be better so that he can continue with the chemo, which seemed to be working ok. But how can he if he can't eat?
It's his birthday on Sunday, and his wonderful sister and her two daughters and Markus's own daughter are coming, I hope. There was a party planned for tomorrow, but we've had to cancel it. Sometimes it feels as if everything is working against you.
Let's hope that, just for once, things change tomorrow. It's the first of August, time for a change.
FormerMember
Dearest Pat
I was so sorry to hear your news and just pray that you and Markus will both be feeling better soon. What a rotten time you're having - but for heaven's sake don't blame yourself for getting flu - there's certainly a lot of it around at the moment and the summer varieties always seem nastier than the bog standard winter ones. I've sent Markus birthday wishes on FB - will be thinking of you both tomorrow especially and will be raising a glass to you and to better times ahead.
Thank you for your great responses. As usual, they have helped me so much again.
I will certainly look into this anti nausea medication next week, John. Rain in Whitby would be great, Linda, nothing like a British summer, is there! Debs, I hope we can have that tonic this summer, really.
My flu is disappearing fast, thanks, Jen, and thanks for the birthday wishes from you and from you too, Dev. Kate, I'll raise a glass to you tomorrow, too, a day early perhaps, but better early and then I can do it twice!
And thanks again, it makes me feel quieter to know there is really someone listening. It's quite lonely sometimes as the carer and breadwinner, when there 's no-one else you can really talk to about it. Yes, I can talk a bit to some people, but a lot have their own problems, and you have to be careful how much you can load onto them. My mum in law has not really got a grasp of the situation, either she goes on interminably about her poor boy, or goes on interminably about her problems - she has a lot, but I just can't cope with them as well at the mo. My lovely sister in law has that job.
Sorry, running on again. Better go and see if I can force a glass of milk down Markus's throat before he has close season for his birthday.
I'm not surprised you are fed up, you must be exhausted. I'm so sorry you and Markus are poorly, but you didn't choose to get flu - it chose you. I hope Markus has a good birthday and the relatives come, get well soon both of you so you can enjoy your holiday.
hi pat, sorry to hear your both having such a bad time i hope your soon feeling better, and i hope markus's nausea soon gets soughted. i hope tomorrow is a brighter more peaceful day for his birthday thinking of you love tracy xx
