First of all, I had to create a new Blog because no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see the usual directions 'Write a new Blog post' - is there something wrong with the site?
John's funeral was more perfect than I could have expected. Jo and I arranged for the hearse to come to the flat and so many people turned up that my little pad was bursting at the seams. The hearse was late because of traffic and this made me smile because John hated traffic queues with a passion. I could just hear him saying "We should have gone a different way, look at that queue!!!!!"
When it arrived with the coffin covered in flowers I'm afraid I cried a little because it brought it home to me how real it all was. I'd already seen my Darling in his beautiful coffin and spoken to him. He was tucked up with the ashes of our lovely old dog, Smiffy, in his hands. When John was slowly slipping away I kept telling him that Smiffy would be waiting for him to take care of him and I like to believe that's exactly what he's doing.
The coffin we chose is beautiful. It looks rather like a large wicker hamper and is woven of banana leaves with a heart-shaped plaque on the top. John's name is also on the back of the coffin and, when we were following the hearse, that's all I could look at, his name - John William Legg.
Funeral services at the Woodland Burial Ground are held in a large conservatory type room with windows all around looking out at the woodland and it was absolutely packed with people. Jo had arranged for cup cakes in pretty boxes to be placed on every seat because John loved to make and eat cakes and this was, in a way, a celebration for his life and his birthday which would have been on that day. He would have been 68.
The vicar was held up in traffic too and couldn't have been more apologetic when he finally arrived. He was an ideal choice. He conducted my uncle's funeral service last year and is a gentle rather absent-minded man but very caring.
We didn't have any hymns but played some beautiful music - Love is in the Air by John Paul Young, Rose of My Heart by Johnny Cash and To Where You Are by Josh Groban, rounded off by Happy Birthday by Stevie Wonder. I read a tribute to my Darling and a poem I had written a few weeks previously with him in mind. Here it is:
Once in a Blue Moon
One night, when the moon was blue,
I turned around and there was you.
A strange and yet familiar face.
Have we met before, in another place?
I know who you are, you’re heaven-sent,
You’re the missing star in my firmament.
This meeting was always meant to be,
Our everlasting destiny.
Once in a blue moon two souls collide,
Two halves of a coin that none can divide.
A magnetic force draws us together,
To spin through time, for ever and ever.
Sorry it's so big but I can't seem to change the print size.
The sun came out at the actual burial which was lovely. The trees were waving in the breeze and the birds were singing - just as John would have wished.
So now I have to get used to being without him. Sometimes I find it very hard and sometimes I find myself smiling when I remember the things he said and did and the wonderful times we had before he was so ill.
This week and next I have to sort through all his papers and visit banks, etc but my best friend Pat and I have arranged a week's holiday in a remote part of Devon next Friday with no TV or mobile phone reception - just us two and Gemma. Pat has done so much for us during John's illness and I have known her for a long time so she is the ideal companion to unwind with.
Life goes on but I will never forget the love of my life.
.
