Wednesday 19th May 2010
After all my groans and moans yesterday, today couldn't have been more different. We actually spent most of the day apart - I was at my writing group and John went out for lunch with his daughter. Afterwards, I realised that we needed that little time apart to stand back and look at things and to have something else to talk about other than what is contantly on our minds - John's illness.
I came home at about 3 o'clock and, after a cup of tea and a chat, we took our dog Gemma for a walk along the clifftop near our home. When I say clifftop, the walk actually forms part of the grounds of a castle - Highcliffe Castle - which is open to the public. There are formal gardens but also a lovely wild area full of trees and little winding paths and a duck pond shaded by beautiful trees.
It was absolutely beautiful up there today but the most wonderful thing of all was that we got to talk a little about how we really feel, linger a while looking at the views over the sea and laugh at Gemma's antics. We fed the ducks with some stale bread and left some crumbs at a place where wild birds gather to feed. It was almost magical as we stood arm in arm and watched robins, bluetits and sparrows flutter down to join in the feast.
Then we sat cuddled up on a high backed wooden seat and told each other how much we cared.
The beauty of Nature is so healing and we came back from that walk refreshed and relaxed and ready to face whatever lies ahead.
I apologise to everyone who read my blog for my negative thoughts of yesterday. John is still here and, while he is, I intend to make the best of each and every day.
One thing I promised myself to do after that walk was to buy John some new trousers! :0) The poor love has lost so much weight that he had to walk along with his hands in his pockets to stop them falling down. Bless!
