Muddled Update - My head's all over the place!

2 minute read time.

First of all, thank you so much if you have sent me a PM.  It really means a lot and I do read them all, even if I don't reply.

John went into MacMillan again on Saturday morning after a terrible night of pain and having to wait for an hour for any relief from the twilight shift.  He asked to go in because he was so frightened of it happening again. 

He seemed to settle in OK but the next morning he was pleading to be allowed home again after trying to get out of bed and falling over.  I managed to calm him and persuade him to stay because we needed to get his symptoms under control. 

Then, the next day (Monday), I found him in a hell of a state because the man in the next bed had been trying to get into John's bed all night.  Not only that, the bay he was in was very noisy and in his agitated state, that was the last thing John needed. 

He was moved to another quieter bay and put onto diazepam to calm him which seemed to do the trick except that now, although much calmer and more painfree, he's terribly confused for most of the time. 

My daughter Nikki has offered to have us move in with her when he is discharged because she knows how difficult things are in the flat.  She has a big four bedroom house with a large dining room and a bathroom downstairs.  She says we can have the dining room and that John's visitors can still come and go.  As far as I'm concerned, it's an ideal solution and John is keen to go too.  I think it will do us both good to have people around us, especially in the evening when things really get on top of me and I feel so lonely with nobody to talk to.

The problem is that his daughter Jo is dead against it and I can't really understand why.  She's back at work now and things were better when she was around to help us but I'm virtually on my own now and everything is getting on top of me.  She has given some strange reasons for not wanting us to move, i.e. when he passes away she won't be able to drive past Nikki's house and remember her dad.  She also thinks it will be difficult to walk in and out like she does here although Nikki has assured her that it will be 'open house'.

Jo walked out of the MacMillan Unit today in tears and didn't come back but she texted to say she wasn't happy. 

What do you all think?  Am I doing the right thing?

Hope this all makes sense.

 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    just wanted to say what everyone else has, that it sounds perfect to move in with family and get the support both of you need, I hope it happens really soon and the weather stays good so that you get to enjoy the garden as much as possible. Big hugs and your in my thoughts as always x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge,what a great solution for you and john so glad Jo as come round as she as been your rock love to you all,Chris.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Madge

    Just got back off holiday and had been worried as no use of laptop.

    What a trauma you've been going through!!

    Glad things have been sorted between you and Jo, she probably felt a bit upset that she couldn't do more for you both, we react in strange ways when upset.

    Anyway that is past now, onwards and upwards.......how wonderful for you both, for John to be able to go out with little fuss and you to have someone there all the time x

    Its the perfect answer for you all, hope it all gets sorted soon Madge, you can take a deep breath now as Im sure you have already.

    Big hugs and lots of love to you all, a bone for Gemma too

    Shaz(((((((((((XXXXXX)))))))))))