I really put my foot in it tonight!

1 minute read time.

Saturday 19th June 2010

John's son has only been to see him once since he was diagnosed with cancer and, it being Father's Day tomorrow, I was turning this over in my mind while I was doing the washing up after dinner.

I said to John "I wonder if S****** will come to see you tomorrow."  He replied that he was very doubtful whether he would and that he probably would never see him again.  This made me so angry that I said something that I now regret.

John and I aren't married although we've been together for a long time.  We own property together and have written Wills.  We both made a promise to each other that we would change our respective Wills to leave any benefits to be divided between all our children when we're both gone - we have three children each.

Well, tonight I told John that I would not include S****** in my Will because of how shabbily he has treated John when he needs all the support he can get. 

John flew off the handle and we did have a big argument about it so the atmosphere is a bit chilly tonight.

Any way, the upshot is that I've promised that I will include his son in my Will if those are John's wishes.

 Oh how I wish I 'd never said anything in the first place.  :0(

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Madge..don`t be too hard on yourself, we all say things we regret and in your case you only did it because of your love for John and your need to protect him. Try and make sure tomorrow is a better day and do something you both enjoy if you can.

    Hugs

    scarlet xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge,

    Yes its a tricky situation. But Lucylee is quite right if Johns Son decides not to visit his Dad on Fathers Day. He will rue the day and will be too late for regrets.Which he will have to live with for the rest of his life. But whatever happens dont blame yourself..

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hey madge, oh its so hard being where you are, i know only too well,but all you can do is just be their for john, his son will have serious regrets after his dads gone, but you wont ,you are such a lovely caring person and thats why johns loved you all these years , take care and try and enjoy today , love and hugs jenni xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Your post reminded me of the awful situation we had with my brother. He had a difficult relationship with his youngest son, something that always upset him. My brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and despte my nephew being told his father had cancer, he never came to visit him. My brother died on Father's Day 11 years ago, just 4 months after his diagnosis. Ironically, my nephew turned up at his house 2 hours after my brother had died, with a Father's Day card. I don't think I will ever forget the day of the funeral and the many many tears my nephew shed that day. Sadly he left it too late. I hope John's son doesn't make the same mistake. I don't blame you for feeling angry, I would too.

    Angela xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    HE CAME!

    Thank you so much for all your loving and encouraging words but John's son actually came to see him this morning.

    It was wonderful to see the delight on John's face and nothing was said about him staying away for so long.  He came with his sister (John's daughter) and they brought a gift of a big bag of new clothes from M&S because John's lost so much weight and a lovely Father's Day card.

    So happy!

    John has tried to pretend that he didn't care about his son not visiting all this time but I could see in his eyes how much he loves him.

    I'm welling up now!