I really put my foot in it tonight!

1 minute read time.

Saturday 19th June 2010

John's son has only been to see him once since he was diagnosed with cancer and, it being Father's Day tomorrow, I was turning this over in my mind while I was doing the washing up after dinner.

I said to John "I wonder if S****** will come to see you tomorrow."  He replied that he was very doubtful whether he would and that he probably would never see him again.  This made me so angry that I said something that I now regret.

John and I aren't married although we've been together for a long time.  We own property together and have written Wills.  We both made a promise to each other that we would change our respective Wills to leave any benefits to be divided between all our children when we're both gone - we have three children each.

Well, tonight I told John that I would not include S****** in my Will because of how shabbily he has treated John when he needs all the support he can get. 

John flew off the handle and we did have a big argument about it so the atmosphere is a bit chilly tonight.

Any way, the upshot is that I've promised that I will include his son in my Will if those are John's wishes.

 Oh how I wish I 'd never said anything in the first place.  :0(

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    What a shame Madge.  It must be so hard for you when Johns son is not making an effort to spend time with his dad.  He will really regret that in the future I'm sure.  However, you're right to include him in your will if it is Johns wish. Love Caroline XX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    It is so hard to sit by and watch someone you love being hurt Madge, and especially when the person doing the hurting is someone who should be there supporting you both.  I don't blame you for being angry.  I hope that this son comes round tomorrow - he probably just doesn't know what to say, but keeping away is worse than saying the wrong thing!

    Lots of love

    Persi

    XXX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Lovely Madge,

    Things are said in the heat of the moment, we are all guilty of that. When the heat calms down, see how things are then. No need to make decisions immediately.

    The thing here without a shadow of a doubt, is your love for each other, let that be your guide.

    Love always, C xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge,cant you ask Johns son to visit his father. This is a very difficult situation for you, i can understand why you are upset, but surely Johns son can put himself out for his fathers sake, it will be to late for regrets when his gone. You have every right to say how you feel so dont feel bad about it.

    With Hugs Lucylee. xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge, I can relate to your story. In my case it was my mother-in-law who stopped all contact with me when I was diagnosed with cancer. She never visited me once or lifted the phone to ask me how I was.

    I feel really resentful towards her even after all these years and I do not visit her at all. My husband knows how I feel and accepts the fact.

    I hope this doesn't come between you and John. I can understand your resentment, but I suppose you have to let it go for John's sake.

    Wishing you all the best. Christine xx