Tuesday 2nd June 2010
I look at John sometimes and I wonder how much more pain he can take. It has been almost constant during the last five days and his face is grey. He was determined to come out in the sunshine this afternoon but he felt every bump in the road and I could see he was suffering.
The morphine isn't touching it and it's making him feel sick all the time. He won't let me phone the doctor because he thinks it's someting he has to endure but I'm sure that's not the case. Trouble is, we don't really know whether it's the tumour or the ulcers.
If he's not better tomorrow, I'm going to phone the hospital no matter what he says. I'm sure he shouldn't be suffering like this. One of the first things the oncology consultant said was that they wouldn't let him suffer and would keep his pain under control.
I know he's strong but I'm not sure how much more he can take.
