Today was a better day than yesterday but John's still not out of the woods so far as his pain and sickness are concerned. He's still asking for more drugs on top of the patch behind his ear (hyacine) for his sickness and his slow release tabs (oxycontin) for his pain. Trouble is that the extra drugs make him so sleepy, twitchy and confused but I suppose that's the price he has to pay to be free from these dreadful symptoms.
Had a bit of a shock yesterday. My granddaughter Kim, aged 17, arrived to vist in the afternoon and I nipped out to ferry John's niece home. I was only gone about 40 minutes but in that time a doctor came to see John and, in front of my granddaughter, talked about signing a 'non-resuscitation' form for when he goes home. Luckily she is a very mature and level headed girl but I could see that she was upset and she said that she didn't think John even understood what the doctor was talking about any way. I didn't make an official complaint but I did speak to another doctor today who said she would look into it.
All in all the MacMillan Unit is a wonderful place and the staff are really caring and kind towards both patients and relatives. I'd recommend it to anyone.
They have put a 'care package' in place for when John goes home (hopefully on Monday) with nurses coming in regularly to bathe him, etc. and an O.T. is going to assess our flat for anything he might need in the way of equipment. One thing I'm going to do is to look at reclining chairs. Our three piece suite is not the most comfortable and I want him to be able to sit in the lounge and relax when he wants to. Staying in bed all the time is not a good thing I feel.
I popped into the Chapel today and sat for a while. It is such a beautiful and peaceful place and I said a little prayer for John, even though I'm not sure whether I believe any more. I do believe there is something far better than this world and I hope that is where John will go when the time comes. I hope too that he will be reunited with his loved ones and pets that have gone before him and that he and I will meet again one day.
Once again, thank you for all your lovely encouraging words. They really do help and especially as you all have your own troubles to bear. I love all of you very much and appreciate every single word you write.
Madge x x x x x
