Really good idea this site, I know how awful this disease is and must be the most horrible thing to live with but as a carer I think we are probably a little bit forgotton and taken for granted. Its nice to know there are others out there battling along and will read the blogs with interest. Keep your hopes up love Lynne
FormerMember
I too was a carer - sadly it is a was rather than am.
I know that the sufferers of this horrendous disease have a very hard horrible time of it - but I also know that in my case, and I am sure that i am not alone, it is actually I that has probably suffered more and am the one left behind.
as a carer i wish i was the patient yes its very hard for us but we dont have the pain and the suffering physically would give any thing to take my daughters place. i think its mental torture for us i have so many different emotions, despair,anger,bitterness,lonliness,helpless and hopeless just want it to all end and for natalie to be able to go home with her baby and husband just a long hard road with so many blows to deal with, bless you and all the carers out there and god bless the sufferers xsue x
it is the mental torture , that goes on after ,and we have to learn to live with it.i know how you feel . look after your selves as you have to be strong , not just for you but your patient too, God bless you all
How can you have a row with someone who has cancer and tell them they are being selfish and self centred and not thinking how someone else might be feeling?.
Had to go off for a cry this morning, my cooking is too bland or too salty, I fidget in bed and keep him awake, but he doesn't want to sleep without me. Window open is a draft and closed is caustraphobic. Fussing is wrong, getting on with my own things is uncaring. Talking about the future is depressing or unrealistic. etc etc
I have said to friends that it could be a race to see what gets him first, me or the cancer!!
He was never like this before, but I know he is frightened and frustrated and we always hurt the ones we love. I would swop places with him if I could, but I know he wouldn't want me to, but going on without him will be so hard and terrifying to look forward to. The children have there own lives to lead, but he is my all and the love of my life.
Just because your partner is ill, it doesn't mean to say he can treat you like poo! Tell him he's being a pain in the arse and to knock off the bad behaviour forthwith. He might be glad of being treated as a normal human being instead of an invalid nuisance!
OK - being frightened makes us snappy and moody - you can forgive the odd outburst, but if he keeps it up constantly, it's going to wear you both down and actually won't do him any good at all. You need to sit down and have a serious talk. Tell him you're in this together and you're sorry it's happened but you BOTH have to get on with it and try to live as normal a life as possible while you get on with the treatment.
Do not lie down and accept rudeness. Tell him straight you won't put up with it. If he wasn't ill and complained about his dinner, what would you do? Throw it in the bin? I bloody would! If he complains about you fidgetting in bed, just quietly get up and remove yourself to the spare room. He can shout if he needs you. If he's not getting enough sleep, he'll be more bad tempered/peevish.
I know what I'm talking about - I've been a carer and am now a sufferer. There's no need for all these atmospherics.
