I spoke with my sister yesterday, and I feel better about speaking with my boys, she has pointed out the (probably very obvious) fact that when I talk to them it is ok to cry, and to let them know that its ok to cry, but alos that its still ok to have fun and laugh, and that they are not to worry about upseting me that they can come and talk to me if they have questions or just want a little cry, that we can cuddle together, I realise now that I am not struggling with this alone but have a wonderful supportive family that will also be having to cope with this horrid situation and we will all cope together, and that its not necessarly bad taste to still joke and use humor to get through. I have written a poem that I will share with the boys if i feel they need it, I am putting it down here so I have some record as things dissapear in this house. A little background info so it makes sense, we are a one car family but on occasions that mum is away or too poorly I have the use of her car.
Granny got sick,
Shes not been well.
Now is the time,
we have to say farewell.
We have lots of nice memories,
shes been there since the start.
No matter how much we will miss her,
She will always be in our hearts.
Sometimes we will feel sad,
and cry, thats OK.
But we still need to have fun,
and remember to play.
You may ask,
Why do we still have Grannies car?
She does not need it up in heaven,
She is a bright shining star.
She always loved us all,
and loved to watch you thrive.
Its ok to talk about her,
and keep her memory alive.
I feel that I have got a little stronger and have even been able to mention the situation (all be it briefly) without filling up this morning!!
