I have not been on the site for a while as there was a lot of doubt about the genuineness of people and accussations of people being too negative, but things are still going down hill and I needed to let off some steam where no one knows me and I can rant without people saying that I should just be grateful that he is still here.
Dad has had a really hard time recently with an operation on his spine, a tumour taken off his face and now being told that the cancer has spread to his bones. Life does not seem to give him a break but he is so very brave and soldiers on. Some days he looks so old and fragile, gone is the man who rode his motor bike with us and ran around like a child. It is really hard to see him fighting so hard yet getting knocked back all the time. Life can be so cruel. I find all of this so difficult and want to make it better for both of them. You always hope that your parents retirement will be happy and healthy after they have worked so hard through their lives but that was not meant to be. I love my parents so much and I hate to see them go through this. I dread the thought of dad deteriorating but the hospital have warned that this will be the case it is just a case of when but who knows when that will be. I wish we could turn the clock back. For anyone who has the chance make the most of the good times that you have as at some point they won't be able to be done. Small things make such a difference. I wish we could go back and have those times again. I really miss the little things like him being able to walk places and just have his independence. I wish that life could be kind to him and give him a break but I find this unlikely given the circumstances - not being negative just realistic. I hope that we have another Christmas together and enjoy any time that we may have as best we can. Life is cruel x
