First blog ever so all very strange.
When I was 6 my mum met my Dad and for the past 20 nearly 21 years he has filled a parental role- We are as close as a father and daughter can be despite over a 100 mile distance.
I was working a late shift at work when he called me- told me they had x-rayed his chest due to a persistant cough and that there was something there that shouldn't be. He would call me in a few days once he had a PET scan and knew the result.
It was the longest wait I've experienced, he finally text me to say it was in 2 places in his lung- on his hip and a potential spot on his prostate. They were going to do more tests. So more waiting and tests later it turns out that the prostate was negative for cancer but the hip spot was positive and that there was also a spot on his rib.
I joined him a few weeks later for a consultation with the radiographer- they planned to shoot some radiation into his hip to shrink the cancer there to make moving about easier and signed him up with 6 rounds of chemo. It is Ademocarcinoma in the lung and has spread elsewhere- it is incurable and they have given him a medien of a year.
I went to visit him the weekend before his 2nd round of chemo and walked in on the aftermath of a argument between him and his girlfriend of 8 years, sally. She and he had argued about me coming to visit and my relationship with my dad- she doesn't like me it turns out and doesn't believe that the relationship is what it is and that is simply a dad and daughter- I can understand from her point of view- my mum left years before and left me with my dad so it seems strange i suppose for an outsider but he is my dad and has been for 20 years or so- yet I've now been told I can't go and see him (he lives at her house)
So now I'm having to be careful how i contact him in case it causes problems as she threatened to kick him out. I know this is stressful for her and this must be a manifestation of her feelings about it all but I don't want the next time I see him for him to be in a coffin.
I'm feeling lost and lonely and have little support- friends have been ok throughout this but it's hard for them to understand. I'm making mistakes at work and finding it hard to concentrate due to lack of rest and sleep- all I want is to take this all away and make him better. I'm not ready to lose him.
I hope to meet him for lunch next weekend but he bit the inside of his mouth and now has an infection- so not sure if he will be well enough- We are also waiting on the result of an X-ray they did last week to see if the chemo is working.
That's all for now - will update when I find out whether i can go see him and if the result comes back from the X-ray
Dawn x
