Hi, new to this site

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Hi, My name is Liz my mom died on her 88th birthday last Dec. I am still finding life hard to deal with and just wanted to speak to like minded people, as most of my friends seem to think life should be going on 'as normal' now. Still find I can cry at the drop of a hat when thinking of my lovely mom. My Dad is also finding life very hard as they had been married for coming up to 58 years when she died. I used to see mom every day so life is very different now. Thanks for listening. Lizx
Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Liz, life is never 'normal' when we have lost someone we love.  My mum died two and a half years ago and I still miss her dreadfully. Your dad will feel as though a half of him is missing.  My dad has had a hard time but hidden it very well from us all. Only momentarily letting us into his grief.  I hope that one day you can think of your dear mum without crying. x x Patricia x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Liz,

    Welcome to the site.    My father in law died in May (not cancer), he was 92 and we are still not coping well at all despite the fact he had a good life and reached a good age.   People say that death is 'natural' and that it 'comes to us all', I dont agree with this, if it were so natural then why does it hurt so much, why do we cry, why do we mourn?

    My own dad goes in to get major surgery next week for his cancer, he is 76 and today we were speaking about this, his views differ from mine, he reckons when your time is up its up, I dont agree!

    Irrespective of what we believe though it is true that when faced with death we all feel the same sense of loss, loneliness, anger, frustration and that is when you need to speak to people who understand.  I hope you find some measure of comfort, remember to always speak about your mum, all to often we daren't mention their name as if they never existed, in my mind that is the worse thing you can do, remember her life, her values, her loves, her hopes etc with pride, don't let her memory die!

    Take care,

    Love Netty xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi, i'm sorry to hear of your mum, my dad died 27 years ago and my sister 5 years ago, I still miss them both terribly, I still cry, no-one can tell you how to deal with you're loss, you're mum was very special to both you and your dad, and it will take time, it is quite normal to laugh, cry, get angry, so, the only advice I can give, is take each day as it comes,

    take care

    viv