to chemo or not to chemo

that is the big question.its one of the things we have to face,and its talked about a lot, im no expert, but i only have my story to tell.this may be a long blog and im not exactly a wordsmith so for those of you who are scared run run, lol.so my story starts in 99, 2nd of jan my friend had coaxed me to see the doc about discomfort in my breast i`d had since a week before xmas, doc told me it was hormonal, come back if it persists,22nd jan,day after my 39th birthday, back to doc still thinks its hormonal but if it makes me feel better she`ll get me a mammograme,so if the doc isnt worried why should i. bearing in mind i never had a sick day in my life,my life was so good i thought i was dipped in gold, indestructable lovely hubby ,daughter, home, job, the works. my mammogramme app didn`t come till june, same day needle biopsy, (starting to worry now), come back next week for biopsy, 10th june i was told yes its cancer, lumpectomy,nodes removed but we got it all and doing some rads, 25, starting sept on tamoxifen for 5 years, your lucky we caught it early no nodes involved.finished rads in nov, and celebrated by getting tattoo on back,lol, well why not, as far as im concerned im done with cancer, x marks the spot,lol ok i need checks but thats only precaution.then bombshell no2,nine months after my dx, mothers day mum finds similar discomfort, only this time its further advanced than mine full mascectomy 20 out of 24 nodes involved,no treatment advised as the strenth of treatment needed might kill her and she may as well just enjoy what time she had left,( i was in yorkshire at the time and sold up and dragged my poor hubby and daughter back to belfast. when the doc here read my records he asked how i got on with my chemo, what chemo i said, he said my records said i had chemo, i didnt, he said,"i can assure you if you were here you would`ve had chemo".) My mum said well if im dying anyway what have i got to lose,so they threw the book at her (docs words), yes it was bad for her as she had other health problems but 9 years later she is cancer free.me, in the mean time getting on with my wonderfull life, was dx in the states,march 08 secondarys in liver and uterus, was told" go home if you dont want to die here," (bit longer than that but dont want to bore you more than i have to) no treatment too far advanced. so i came home, my doc her said i want to at least try, (mum was sat with me), he told mum to cover her ears, if you were your mums age i wouldnt, but your still young, mum then chirped in well you had to throw the book at me. he replyed well im afraid were going to have to throw a whole bookcase at elizabeth. so 3 to 4 months prognosis is now a year down the line and out of the last year i can honestly say ive felt good for 6 of those months feeling better all the time, yes a lot more chemo to come, up to 14 taxotere he says, it was 8 fec 100 last time, but you know what, chemo saved my mums life and couldve maybe saved mine if they had given me it in 99, so what, you lose your hair, so what you feel ill, during it, you may not know it now, but it could be saving your life. as it is, its extending mine im not ready to go yet, so bring it on.good luck to all of you going through this thing called cancer, cos when i do die i`ll know ive given it my best shot. thanks for listening liz xxx