Had a bit of a wobble today, panicking about my consultation tomorrow. Just can't help thinking it is going to be bad news. For the most part I am pretty good at putting it out of my mind and getting on with it, life that is, but had some panic attacks and a very heavy chest all day. The thing is that since my Consultant told me the news that my cancer is incurable she is the monster in my nightmares and therefore seeing her is never going to be a pleasant experience, she was the one who made me feel the worst i have ever felt in my whole life, she devastated me, therefore our relationship is always going to be difficult. I have many questions I am going to ask her tomorrow, please god she can give me some positive answers.
