My journey started when I found a lump last November and was referred to the Brest clinic. My husband asked if I would like him to come with me but I said no I was going straight to work afterwards so no point in him taking time off, so there I was in my work suit at the Brest clinic! The consultant that initially examined me said it did not feel like anything sinister but after having a mamogram, ultrasound and then a biopsy needless to say I did not go back to work that day. Sitting in front of the consultant watching him tell me the dreaded news I was numb I could not talk and did not ask him a single question even when the cancer nurse took me in another room to go through it again all I kept thinking was the results of the biopsy is not back yet he has got it all wrong! It was my daughters birthday and she was coming home from uni to go out to celebrate her birthday how my husband and i held it together i will never know. Anyway the week after I found myself back in the clinic with the consultant confirming the news and telling me I needed a lumpectomy and sample lymph nodes taken. Telling my son and daughter was the worst thing I have ever done my son was in the middle of his mock GCSEs and my daughter was at uni it was a horrible day. I had my op on the 30th November and a month later I was back in theatre to have all the lymph nodes removed as well as more good cells around the lump it was New Years eve and i was still really drousy as i laid there listening to fireworks going off outside I should have been home celebrating with my family not in hospital feeling awful. Now you might be wandering about my needle phobia well I have always had it but having cancer is a constant round of blood tests and canulas and injections and believe me I am no model patient when they approach me with a needle! I am in the middle of chemo now and it is a constant joke with the chemo nurses when I come in about who drew the short straw that day to see to me! Even when I was admitted into hospital with a bad cold and had to have antibiotics intravenously the drip got blocked and they had to take out the canula and put a new one in, talk about luck I mean I couldnt make this stuff up if I tried and on top of all this due to the lack of white blood cells I have the community nurse in after each chemo for 7days to give me injections to help produce white blood cells! I have found chemo tough and although they tell you you will lose your hair nothing prepares you for it when it happens, my hair started to fall out 2 weeks after my first chemo even though I tried the cold cap and within 5days I was left with very little hair. I was horrible that week taking it out on my husband he has been brilliant throughout Infact I do not know what I would have done without him. I spoke to a lady during that week who had started her own card business for cancer patients and one of her cards read 'Hair is so last season' that made me laugh and after shaving the rest of my hair off started to feel a lot better about it. My journey continues with chemo which has been horrible but only 2 more to go before radiotherapy. I do not want to wish time away but I cannot wait for chemo to end as I have had every side effect possible! I want to feel better to do the things I did before without feeling lousy.
