Well a hospital bed arrived on Friday. Which sort of confirmed everything that we had been told. There was a quietness about the house, as we all came to realise this will be where he falls asleep and gets his angel wings. My brother is too sick to have his Chemo so he was sent home to enjoy what time he had left. I think if he wasnt in so much pain and wasnt so scared I might be able to cope better, but its watching him fading away before my very eyes. This is the boy I played with as a child, fought with, cried at his wedding, cried at the birth of his babies and now I have to cry because Im losing him. He wont sleep in the hospital bed, because he fights every ounce of sleep - he drops off for a few minutes then wakes up. He is still a young man, yet he looks like an old man because this damm desease has ravaged his beautiful face and body. He did however have his stent fitted after major cockups and had his beans, not on toast, but with scrambled eggs. He said he missed the feeling and taste of food in his mouth - something I take for granted on a daily basis. Yesterday he had a bad day and i feel each day is getting a little harder for him and his fight and also for us to watch him suffer. Sorry if I am rambling I have had yet another sleepless night and soon the house will be awake again and my son will be skipping around looking for school books and sports equipment and he will wander downstairs and say "morning mummy - i love you can i have my breakfast" and it makes me smile, cos he says that every single day and as young as he is cannot see the tiredness or the sadness that must surround me. I will keep you posted.
FormerMember
We are with you and your brother. Many of us feel what you do. Your brother will find comfort with family, friends at his side. Love transcends all. Yes, cancer is a thief. Just know that you...and your brother...are not alone in this journey. I am wishing you strength...
i lost one of my brother 2 years ago, not to cancer it was an accident. it is hard to cope with it.
i.ve been thinking what you've said about watching your brother getting bad day by day, it must be so so sad. my brother come to my son's wedding 2 weeks before he died, he was so happy and full of life.then he was gone.
I've been logging on nearly every day waiting to hear how you & your brother are, I am truly very sorry for your terrible situation & with all my heart I wish you all the strength in the world to get through these terrible times. God bless you & your lovely brother, I will think about you all. Take care my friend, Luv Tina.x
I will keep your brother and family in my prayers. I know how you feel. I lost my uncle ( watching him die ) isn't easy. I just kept telling myself that he'll soon be out of pain and watching over all of us with angels wings. When he went to sleep he told us all " I love you and I'm going home now it's my time." He died in his sleep without any pain.
You get me through these long lonely nights when I walk the house trying to reason and fathom everthing out. Or sit for hours on the computer trying to find anything that may help him/. I am sad because I have already started to grieve the loss of my brother, but I am also strong because I have my friends to support me. Tina my dear friend I miss you and will pm you soon - I felt so sad I didnt want to make you sad too. You were my strength 5 weeks ago (yes its only been 5 weeks and we are already so near the end). Thank you all for your kind words and support - you really do not know how much I appreciate it.
