We'd actually been intending to start a family this year and in our ideal world I would have been about 2-3 months pregnant when we got married in April. Just was well I wasn't with the discovery of the breast cancer in Februrary! Anyhow, this meant that retaining fertility throughout my treatment was a consideration hence my BCN arranging an appointment for me to meet with a 'consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist'.
Unfortunately my fiance couldn't attend the fertility discussion appointment but we managed to get one of my friends to take 1/2 day off work to go with me. Of all the appointments I'd had so far, this was the most difficult. I had naively thought there was a window of opportunity to harvest eggs after my surgery and before starting chemo - I was very wrong!
The consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist outlined all the options then discounted all but IVF due to the low success rates. In terms of timing he said I should focus on getting better first then to come and see him again after treatment. He could then put us through a cycle of IVF by which time the embryos would effectively be 36 years old. I would then do '2 years penance' as he called it after chemo and as long as I were free of recurrence during that time he would then support a pregnancy. Even though I'd be 39 by this time (39/40 on birth if all went well), as the eggs were from when I was 36 he said we'd have a 33% chance of success.
The thing he threw into the mix that I hadn't really given thought to was the ovarian cancer. He suggested that I try and find out whether my mother had developed a new primary ovarian and died of secondaries (as he thought) or whether it was a secondary from the breast cancer (unlikely apparently). I asked if he could get her records and he said no, but that I could by contacting the health trust where she was treated.
Anyhow, what it boiled down to was, after he consulted with an oncologist, he said that I may need to consider an oopherectomy before I am 40. However, he could still support a pregnancy as long as the uterus were intact. He said that if I did get ovarian cancer and they did a hysterectomy that pregnancy would no longer be an option for us. My friend was sobbing all the way through this having had no idea how bad my family history was, etc.
It was quite difficult explaining all this to my fiance when he got home from work. He realised then that he wanted children more than he thought he had - but said the focus was on me getting better and we'll have to deal with things as they come.
