my mum breast cancer had spread to her liver
im in totel shock at the moment i just cant belive it. my mum was my best friend, and my life, she was also my dads, and the sunshine has gone out of his life. it happened so quick. its so unfair. i keep thinking that she is just gonna walk back into the room. the house is left like she has just nipped out. and it was so heartbreaking to see my dad going round asda for ready made meals for one. im really worried about him to. but the one thing that i cant get out of my mind is about 3 mins before she died, she shead a single tear. can anyone help me with what im going through.
FormerMember
My mother died on Saturday 17th Janaury 2009 and also shead a single tear about an hour before she died.
I take it that we are so lucky and so special because my mums alzheizmers had kicked in big time and as another comment you had said it was a way of our mums being able to express emotion.
I am so sorry for your loss and really understand how you must be feeling.
I was sent this poem when my dad died, it gave me a lot of strength, I hope it helps you.
Death is Nothing at All
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I, and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
Like you mom my brother was only diagnosed recently with liver cancer and he died this morning. I know the pain your feeling and I can only send you my love and prayers and hugs. Talk about her when you want to, cry as I have done all day if it helps. You never lose them they stay always with you in your heart and mind- with time you will laugh again and remember all the good times you shared together. It horrible how quickly this disease tears someone you love away, but I suppose the other side of that is that they don't suffer to long either.
Sorry for your loss. It's never easy but honestly, it will get better. It's all still raw and shocking and you think your world's come to an end. But it hasn't. Take time to grieve, bawl your eyes out, snivel, eat chocolate and be there for your dad. Be happy for your mum who is no longer ill and in pain. If you want to do something useful to take your mind off it a bit, cook some nice little dinners for your dad's freezer.
Hi - we never just lose our Mum, we lose our best friend and the woman who has spent her life loving and caring for us so selflessly. We will never find another love like it, because it does not exist, so when we lose our Mum, a big piece of our hearts and lives go with her. When it is very sudden, it seems doubly cruel, because there's been no time to talk of shared memories, or even create a few new ones that you can keep. Then the shock factor seems to stop us from grieving properly, that's how I felt when my Mum died. I was in a state of shock for weeks, couldn't cry, didn't talk about her and seemed to blank the whole thing out of my head. Eventually, the shock does wear off and you face the reality of what you have lost. I cried and cried till I thought I'd never stop crying, I still couldn't talk about my Mum, cos the pain was too raw - that came after a good period of time had passed, when I was able to sit down and look at old photos of her and I together. Granted, I looked at the photos with tears streaming down my face, but it was like a cleansing process - although I didn't realise it at the time. My lovely Mum has been dead for 26 years, and I can now think of her, talk about her and remember her with a smile - but it takes time sweetheart. I offer you, your Dad and your family my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your dear Mum, with lots of love kate xxxxxxxxxxxxx
