So my partner has just had a diagnosis of ALL and I'm finding it hard to cope with,
It's all come about so quickly, he was fine Monday, woke up early on tues for work and had hip pain.
Went to the tram and fainted twice, an ambulance ride and hours in hospital later, we get told his blood count was low and abit 'abnormal'
This was all I needed to know to know it was cancer. He had a bone marrow biopsy booked for the next morning but until then nobody would give him a diagnosis or even mention cancer as a possibility. But I knew and I decided to prepare him that it could be something serious without panicking him unduly.
By the weds night we had been told he had ALL and that this was linked to his hip pain.
I was distraught, he was emotionally cut off.
Now he's waiting for a transfer for treatment and I'm worried about all the changes that are happening in our lives. I worry he isn't dealing with it but there is no right way to react.
His mum is an alcoholic and isn't going to visit him, shd won't even txt or call him to see how he is, she doesn't seem to care. He doesn't know his dad and has no other family. I'm literally all he has to support him so I'm a partner and a parent. I'm 27, He's only 25. Luckily my family are close to him as we gave been together 6 years
Does anyone else worry that the separation will cause a break down in the relationship or that the stress will split you up?
I'm also struggling to judge how involved I should be getting, I know it's his body/his treatment/his choice but he has ADHD and relies on me to remember everything his doctors are saying, plus he doesn't want to read any of the info we've been given. I worry he is burying his head in the sand.
He's had a hard life and has had to go through everything alone on auto pilot in the past, but this time he's not alone I'm here too. By shutting down emotionally from the leukaemia he's also shutting me out,
How can I help him
FormerMember
Life is horribly unfair. If life was fair we'd all be rich, happy and healthy. What I see as the positive in your situation is your own empathy and love for your partner, and I think the answer to your question is in what you say about your relationship. You are the strong one and he relies on you. He's going to need you more than ever now. If he chooses to bury his head in the sand, and some people do, you can't change that, you can only go along with it. Maybe you will have to keep some information to yourself if he doesn't want to know. You yourself are going to need a lot of support, therefore. There is a group for carers/partners on this website. It may help you to continue this blog and look for support here too. You will probably be assigned a specialist nurse or Mac nurse, and they are there for partners as well as patients. Use whatever resources you can, because you are just as important on this journey as your partner is, especially in view of his ADHD and lack of family support. Please come back here and share whenever you want to, we're always here for you.
