I had a blank screen in front of me. I had no idea what to type. My predictive text wanted to make "idea" come out as Ida as my typing and fingers didn't quite come together as hoped for.
Don't you find predictive text as annoying as those people who, thinking they know what you're saying, open their mouths and finish off your sentence for you? Of course, I have never done this in my life, as I am equally sure that you, dear reader, have never done it either. Thank heavens you can't see my shifty look at this moment. At least my text predictor didn't want to amend shifty into anything else.
I found those who said to me after Laing was diagnosed with his lung cancer that I was looking on the gloomy side and he would be fine very annoying at the time. Considering they didn't know him, nor the ins and outs of the diagnosis, nor probably anything to do with lung cancer beyond the mistaken belief that only smokers get it and unaware there is more than one lung cancer out there, I found that knee jerk human response of "don't worry, it will all be fine" annoying. I wanted to scream and shout how stupid they were, though they meant well. They were as useful and knowledgeable as a newspaper horoscope.
I knew what the outcome would be. I wasn't ready for it when it came. We had got married a week and a few hours before he died. I was too happy, too euphoric, too blind, too stupid to realise my spectacles were rose tinted.
One of the first things I started seriously thinking about after Laing died was do I want another relationship? I have two trains of thought, one is we were happy together and I wouldn’t be much fun as I would be comparing any future partner with Laing, the other is, do I want to be a lonely old pensioner waiting for my turn? Right now I am not lonely. I have made new friends through Laing’s death, sadly all of us in the same boat. I value these individuals’ friendship more highly than any other.
At least I got one prediction correct. The screen didn't stay blank for long.
