Now that I have shared the news with some friends, I have found it's tricky to navigate the different reactions from people. I know they love and care for me, and I love them too, but that doesn't mean it's not hard at times.
Family and old friends from my home country are very worried and send me lots of advice, including strict diets, weird drinks, should not eat sugar advice, and many stories about other people with either breast cancer or other cancers. I mention to one of them that I probably will have the chemotherapy to makes your hair fall, and she tells me "well, it grows again" and keeps on talking about something else.
Friends from here are mixed. My foreign friends behave a bit like my home country friends. They want me to go to things in December. Lost of outings and so on, and I say I'm not sure how I will be, so don't want to book something and then not go. I love they still take me into consideration. I tell them I might be starting chemotherapy. I'm not trying to cancel all things from my life, but I will have to adjust, and December is very busy usually. I want to go to some things, but I really don't know if I will. I know they don't know or understand how I feel, but I don't like how they brush off my worry or they push me to "stay active and positive." I am staying positive, but I have to be careful and realistic. I also want to be kind to me and my husband and children. It's hard because I see they want me to feel part of the groups and to cheer me up, but I guess it's the way they handle the invitations and my answers. Maybe I am just oversensitive.
One of the hardest things is people telling me "stay positive" or "I see you are doing well" or just telling me to feel in a certain way. Yes, I am staying positive, but I have the right to feel crap or to cry or feel any other feeling. This is not just a cold. This is big. Yes, it could be worse. Yes, staying positive helps to go through this and recover. Yet, it's going to be a long journey and I don't want to push feelings away or pretend. I guess it's best to pretend with most people. Feelings and emotions, eh! I know, we are all still learning about them.
