So i thought blog number 1 would be best started with a bit of background & how we have got to where we are.
I am 35 and the partner of J. He is 39. We have a 15 month old son.
J had been having problems with his voice for some, probably about 2 years. He put off seeing anyone for about 18 months. He saw the GP 4 times before he was sent for further tests.
On his first hospital appointment with ENT they popped a camera down his throat and pretty much told him he had cancer. It hit us like a tonne of bricks. I had just gone back to work after being on maternity, the baby had started nursery & J was in a secure job at the same company i work at.
Between May & August he had a CT, debulking and a couple of short stays in hospital to get his airway in a good state. In August this year we were told he has stage 4 Layrngeal cancer & he was being transferred to a hospital 50 miles away for treatment. On his first appointment with the consultant he was concerned about an enlarged lymph node in his neck. They did an ultrasound on it & found it had spread to 2 lymph nodes.
He was fitted for a mask for Radiotherapy & started treatment on 5th Sept. He had Radio every day Mon-Fri for 6 weeks & chemo once a week for 6 weeks. The whole ordeal was horrendous, he was really poorly and had a RIG fitted to help him eat as he could swallow. the transport was a nightmare, sometimes not turning up or him having to wait 2/3 hours at the hospital after treatment,
That finished at the end of October. We are hoping to have some idea if it has worked on 4th Jan when he will have a camera down his throat to have a look, then full CT end of Jan.
He is eating again now and starting to put on some weight after losing 4 stone. However, he is still very tired & weak and the chemo has really affected his hands. He cant grip, close them or lift anything heavy. He cant lift out son, open a tin, make a drink etc.
We have no family or friends close by to help us so everything has been on me. ive been trying to be a mum, work full time & care for him. EVeryone keeps saying they dont know how i do it....but what other choice do i have. I am so tired & lonely. We have no relationship anymore and we argue alllll the time.. We are both worried about what they will say next week but i feel so selfish that i am dreading how we will cope if it is bad news.
