ive added a few things on here before...but its takin me ages to find my way around here!!! was gonna keep a diary of whats been happenin...then decided to do it on here.
the story so far......im 39 and trev is 37....we met in feb...love at first sight!!! been having a brilliant time - gigs, scooter rallies...just enjoying being together. end of may trev felt unwell....flu or tonsillitis we thought. , had just started induction month for new job and had to postpone it. well he was back and forth to the docs..who basically said tonsillitis , gargle with mouthwash and try antibiotics and ibuprofen. about 6 appointments later.....neglect really but thats another story..saw another doc who immediately referred to ENT (bearing in mind, trev now had a lump on his neck that had grown from pea size to orange size!!!) 2 days later told he had a tumour although uncertain if benign of malignant,
took him for a tonsillectomy on july 26th.....tonsil too big to be removed so biopsy instead. was a long hard day. had to wait a week then went for results...
aug 3rd....went with him to hospital - he went in room with doc...and came out with a macmillan nurse. had a hunch before....symptoms etc etc. yup,,,was cancer in his tonsil and a tumour on right side of neck. emotions all over - numb to be honest.
during the next week or so we sorta tried to get out heads around the diagnosis.....scary stuff!!! just after, trev began to vomit black....turns out it was blood.....ibuprofen had taken lining off his stomach. hospitalised for about 5 days (iwas due to take my daughter on hols the day after he was admitted - was stressful leaving him!)came back of my hols....trev had a ct scan and a pet scan.
19th aug.....appointment at james cook hospital...told he had to have wisdom teeth removed before radiotherapy cud start - he was gutted!!! then darlington hospital and was told scan had picked up abnormaliites in lymph node ih nis neck, chest and stomach and therefore another needle biopsy needed to be done the next day. we were devestated!!!!! but somehow had a really lovely weekend out together...just doing normal stuff....laughing and cryin in equal amounts. bought him a friendship ring. had to carry on as best we could for another week or so.....then had to go back for results. trev really wound up.....angry with the world i think!!! and sooo scared about his teeth etc.
30 aug we were told the cancer hadnt spread!!!! OVER THE MOON!!! we were told the abnormalities were due to an immune condition...treatable and curable...cud have had it for years!! was also told teeth out that week...and then we were hit with due to the increase fo size of the tumour..and the size of his tonsil...he wud have to have a tracheostomy tube fitted.
2nd september....took him to darlington hospital and he was absolutely terrified. was soo hard to keep it together for him but i did. walked him down to the operating theatre.......u have to imagine, we ve never had a holiday or been for a nice meal yet...but we sat at operating theatre together! had to wait about 3 hours to see him in recovery.....never been that close to a theatre etc.was daunting but managed. he was doin so well.....but it was so sad to see him with the big tubes etc. transferred back to the ward....writing notes to each other!! actually had a laugh! lots of support from friends....many texts!!! took a video of him so his mam wouldnt be too scared when she visited!
3rd sept...HE CAN TALK!!! was on the phone...and he sounds like himself!! sooo proud of him!!! breathing like darth vader but talkin ok!
4th sept.....hot date at the hospital!!! sat night in. he s doing brilliantly!! really good. can give him kisses and theres no problem!!! wasnt sure if there wud be!! : )
just been visitin him in hospital...he s been in lotsa pain off the teeth extraction but doing well on the morphine. he s been taught how to clean and change his trachy tube...and he s shown me too!!
8th sept.....he thought he was comin out of hospital...but has to stay in to have peg fitted. he cant sleep but is still doing ok. not likin pureed food like!
so.....thats us for now! i feel so much better for gettin all this down. didnt realise how much has been going on!!! its been difficult..especially so early on in our relationship......only been together months!! but im not going anywhere.......fell in love with him and him me.....in this one for keeps!!!
thanks for listening xx
well..thought i wud give an update.....this just helps me to get things off my chest....even if no one reads it....its my sorta diary :)
9th sept......trev had his PEG fitted this mornin......early on...and was up and ready for me comin to see him, i do think he did too much too soon....and i think i was right. he was very tender around the site....but docs have said that its perfectly normal. he has had his medication upped like so hopefully that ll help. spent an hour with him..and his 2 friends came thru which he enjoyed. his mam rang me tonight....sed he was ok but was in pain. i was pleased later coz he rang...and sed he felt bit better. he s crossin his fingers that he s discharged tomorro!! we shall see !! x
10th sept.......had text off trev this morning....HE S COMIN OUT!!! he s over the moon....dead pleased. went thru for him...went for a coffee til his meds were ready. he was a lot more comfortable...still tender but alright. took him home....and his mam was sooo pleased to have him back!!! we had loads of things to bring back from hospital.....trachy things and PEG stuff!!! like the docs in the house!!! hoping he has a really good nights sleep....thats been the main thing...non sleeping! well......tomorro is another day!! : )
update......11th september.......trev text this mornin....his peg area is oozing, so he was off to the hospital....doc had a look and sed slight infection, anitibiotics. shud be fine!!! only came outta hospital yesterday. night in tonight........not our usual weekend evening i suppose....this time there s a trachy tube and a peg for company!!! gonna be different i suppose!! reckon all this is just gonna take some adjusting to. we onl in our 30s....just met...and feels like our life on hold!!! just when we shud be out and about.....this comes and bites ya on the ass!!!! suppose its normal to feel bit angry...it ll pass!!!
12 sept........spent our first night together since peg and trachy fitted.....was strange....he doesnt snore any more but i was so scared he wud stop breathing!!!! and when he coughed i thought he was chokin!! scary stuff. somethin gonna have to get used to..we in this for the long haul.
his trachy wound and the peg wound oozing a bit...and he s been vigilant in their care too......district nurse out tomorro.
he saw his daughter today for the first time in a good few months....reckon it will have given him more of a boost than any medication!!
