After thinking i'd written a blog here the other day, i'd written it as a comment on the end of my last one!!! My excuse..my heads all over the place at the moment.
Anyway here goes, we went to Christies on Wednesday, Mark is having ECF, when the consultant checked his blood, his potassium levels were too high, and he's not drinking enough so his kidneys weren't functioning properly, he was given a horrible chalky powder drink to take. We went back yesterday so they could take more blood and the consultant rang last night to say his potassium levels were down, and the kidney result was better, so he has to start taking vit k to help his blood clotting before he has the hickman line on Thursday followed by 1st Chemo on Friday.
The Macmillan nurse came yesterday and after asking how we'd got on on Weds, asked to talk to me on my own. She said she could see a deteriation in Mark from a week ago when she last saw him. The cancer has spread to his liver, lungs and lymph nodes (which we already knew) and we should start talking about things, where he wants to die etc.
We spent the rest of the day sorting out our finances and trying to be practical. I really can't get my head around how horrible and aggressive this cancer is. From someone who only 8 weeks ago felt 'unwell' and was still going on 12/14 mile walks which we love to someone who can barely get up and downstairs.
How do you prepare yourself to watch someone die, and see all your hopes, plans and dreams for the future just disappear. I am trying so hard to stay as positive as i can but life seems really shit from where i'm standing at the moment.
Take care everyone
Love Elaine
