Hi guys
chemo all done now! 6 out of 6 all finished, no defferals, no problems (apart from shingles after cycle 3) so why dont I feel elated? i was more excited about it after last cycle, not excited at all- rather am apprehensive now, not what I was expecting at all- its not that I am not gonna still be seen, I am on ICON 7 trial so will still be going every 3 weeks for avastin until jan.
it all feels very odd.
maybe its just the change, my life has been wrapped up in making sure i was healthy enough to have chemo and now I dont need to do that anymore ( should be cheaper anyway- dont need quite as much organic fruit now!-maybe i should put that money towards getting ready to getting my hair done!)
anyone else have these feelings? is it me or is it normal? I wasnt expecting it, and dont know how to deal with it, i think if its normal for a time whilst I readjust to this new phase in my life i can cope with it, but it just doesnt feel right- maybe its just me and am weird ( others have remarked on that so dont be afraid to tell me!)
FormerMember
Hiya
You have summed up exactly how I felt when I finished chemo (I'm about 6 weeks ahead of you). If you play around with keywords and read some past entries on this site you'll find that our reaction is quite typical: lack of expected sense of elation, unexpected feeling of anti-climax, no much longed-for perception of finality or drawing a line under a weird experience.
My Macmillan nurse has told me these feelings are absolutely par for the course. It is even normal for chemo patients subconsciously to react badly to the sudden loss of all the hospital contact and "attention", despite the fact most of us have cursed it! My advice is to be ultra good to yourself. I certainly experienced unexpected tiredness, sometimes exhaustion, on finishing chemo; I just went with it and slept when I wanted to. There are still milestones to come, but better ones: hair regrowth, phasing out of nasty chemo side effects, etc. Remember, your body has been pounded with toxins for months and needs to recover and readapt; you need to miss a chemo and then some for it to start to get back to previous form.
Hope you're lucky enough to have people around who understand that you are not miraculously "better" and "back to normal" overnight because the chemo is over. I recommend trying out any complementaries that appeal to you (meditation, massage, reflexology, reiki, whatever) and sticking around here for people who really know what it's like. And pat yourself on the back: that's a journey and a half you've been on.
Cat has really said it all. I was like that too. Complementry is a very good idea and can help you relax and makes you sit down and find time for yourself. I usually have Reiki which l find does help me.
In fact some times after l have seen my Oncologist for a routine check up and every think is ok l still come home and feel very down, l should be elated!!
