As part of a 6 month trip to the land of my birth NZ, I had the wonderful opportunity to stay at my eldest brother and his wonderful wife's beach house in Waikawa, about 1 hour north of Wellington. The primary motive was to (finally!) record some original music, but also a chance to relax in a little slice of paradise for a few weeks.
When taking a break from the music making, and cooking healthy food as directed by my new best friend, chatGPT, I'd recline on the comfy couch watching Netflix's Narcos on, frankly, the largest television I'd ever seen. Could life get any better!?
Turns out, no, but it can certainly go the other way. Sitting on the couch one morning, I noticed a feeling on the left side of my neck, like something was catching. Using fingers to explore in more detail, I found a solid mass right in the area you normally take your pulse.
Is that a lump? Yup definitely a lump. Doesn't hurt though, so should be good. Right?
Cut to 5 weeks later and I'm now staying with Mother in the Gold Coast. And the lump hasn't gone away. That's odd. Maybe I should get it checked out. Luckily Mum's retirement village has a GP stationed on base, and after sitting in the Monday morning waiting room for max 10 mins (and being made to feel like a very, very young man by comparison to the other punters) I was seen by the doc.
He didn't like the lump.
In a jiff he sent me off to Qscan (short for Queensland Scan) to get bloods and ultrasound done. The results were back within 24 hours. They didn't indicate anything good - possibly lymphoma, and I should start planning treatment, but "let's not get ahead of ourselves": next test is a biopsy.
Fair to say I was stunned by this conversation. Didn't hit me until I got back to Mum's flat and I collapsed in an involuntary pool of tears. OH F***K NO!
So off to Qscan on Weds this time for a biospy. Except due to some confusion, they had booked the wrong kind of biopsy (less haste, more speed?) and so instead I had a CT Scan to check my torso and neck for any further lumps, biopsy booked for the following Weds. The radiologist was much more sanguine than the GP - "lymph nodes are pretty reactive. Lymphoma is really rare". Ok maybe things are looking up then?
Again, within 24 hours results were back, and it was great news, CT scan clear (except for the original lump). Things are definitely looking up.
Off to Sydney for a fantastic weekend catching up with friends, and then back to Qscan for the biospy - feeling pretty confident.
What's the definition of hubris? Think I nailed it.
Had to wait a full 5 days for the results (well, there was weekend in between so I can't complain that they were working to a more human-level of speed!) and I was back in NZ by this time to finish off my trip and plan the cricket day/50th bday party that really was what the whole trip was for.
The biopsy came back came back positive for Squamous Cell Carcinoma. So, umm, not lymphoma, but cancer then after all. But where is the original tumour? Squamous is not native to lymph nodes, so where then? Skin? Throat? Armpit? Need to get an expert now.
What to do?
1. Stay in NZ: not really an option given can't even get into register for a GP in Upper Hutt, so what hope an efficient referral?
2. Go to Aus: hmm, really impressed with their speed, but not so much with the bill. What price do you put on healing cancer? Don't really want to answer that question
3. Back to the UK: definitely the only option. I've heard from separate people that the NHS is an excellent with cancer patients.
Decision made: book a flight back to London for the next day. Night flight, business class (coz why not?) and GP appointment booked 7 hours after I land.
So referral has been booked and on the fast track. Hoping to be seen within the next 7 days, with a two-week maximum wait. Do not get a choice of hospital, but I'm just very glad (and lucky) to be in a country with such an efficient, and govt-backed health care system.
The prognosis for this disease looks positive, esp since I am still (even at 50) at the lower end of the age cohort the clinical data-analysis reveals.
Saying goodbye to family in this situation is a nightmare I thought I'd never have to face. Also, sharing the news with friends has been so stressful. But my gosh the love and support I've received has been enough to make me feel ready to take on anything this illness brings. Thank you to those who have reached out: it really helps.
Love you all xx
