Part 9 - The Meaning of Life

Less than one minute read time.

7 Nov 2024

“Why are we here, what’s life all about?

Is God really real, or is there some doubt?

Well tonight we're going to sort it all out

For tonight it's the meaning of life."

This is the final entry into the KMCA series. I am not going to post it here, other than to write one short paragraph about it. At over 12,000 words this is one of my longest ever posts, so be warned. There is a lengthy section on music. It will appeal to anyone that likes Monty Python, The HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy and Humanism. Hang in there, make a strong cup of tea or coffee and come back to it if necessary. It took two months to write, edit and get proof read. My Cancer Diary - part 9 (The Meaning of Life). God, the ‘After Life’ and the Princess of Wales!

It can be in full here, but you probably don't have the time.. It was originally published on 4 October, one year exactly after my stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosis.

You probably won't read it, oh God 'I'm so depressed' (said Marvin).

Anyway, it's been lovely to share my journey with you... goodbye!

https://teacherphili.wordpress.com/2024/10/04/my-cancer-diary-part-9-the-meaning-of-life/

Dignahtee 1 month ago

Well teacher Phil, I have read your 100th blog! I grew up in a very roman catholic family and, very gently, rebelled from this as a teenager. Some of your comments on religion resonated; suicide as a mortal sin, and previously a crime. Now, I would not take my own life, it's not 'painless' for those left behind, and entails a hole load of stressful legal admin. A close friend took his own life in 2022; so incredibly sad, many of us were supporting him through a family crisis but still he felt desperate and alone enough to go into the woods one night with a rope.

I am now signed off all treatments and have an unspecified number of months left.

I have commented in previous posts on similarities between our cancer experiences. My bowel adenocarcinoma had spread to my lungs and liver by July this year and latest scan shows ten mets in my liver and new cancer in my right humerus, sacrum and pelvic bones...so, cancer nine ways! My signet ring cancer cells, rare and tough bastards, have shrugged off all the treatments.

I have steered away from the 'war' and 'battle' words in describing my cancer. I don't think its helpful to use these terms, partly because actual war is truly terrible and I'm really one of life's 'lucky, lucky bastards' (hope you appreciate the quote?), who just happens to have been unlucky enough to get cancer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on how you got cancer. I have no idea where mine came from, a fit and healthy non-smoker and light drinker with no family history of bowel cancer...so how come I get so ridiculously ill? I don't think that I have ever had an actual panic attack, although I have been stressed many times, my feeling is that my cancer has not been catalysed by worry But, I am not at war with cancer, and I am not losing a battle. I know that cancer will be the cause of my death quite soon but I am truly lucky to have had the life that I have had; and I am sad to leave it so soon. I am going to try and leave with as much grace and humility as I can muster. If there is some kind of afterlife, I hope its not too dull or filled with vengeance for my many failings!

I wish you well for the marathon, that is a massive undertaking.

(you mention 'Jon Holmes says the C-word' podcast. I am the final speaker on the second 'bonus readers stories' episode, I know, I can't compete with the ribbon producing bollocks!)
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