Me, Myself and Chemo

My first experience with chemotherapy wasn't what I had hoped for. I had to start my chemo quickly so I ended up on a ward instead of the Sunrise unit because there was no room for me there, which was fine by me. I entered the ward and was shown a bed and left there, I didn't have an idea what was going to happen to me. I wasn't particulary worried or scared, which was a good thing for me, maybe somebody else might have felt different. I knew I had cancer and I knew my treatment had to be hard and fast, no problem,but I did expect a little bit of human kindness and not the cold reception I received.(Oh stupid me!) The sister came over and put a cannula in my hand and left again, after awhile she returned with another nurse who carried a large tray of bags of fluid, injection and other things. I was asked my name,address and D.O.B, then I was connected up to a bag of fluid and they went to walk away without saying another word to me. I had to call the sister back and ask her what they were putting into my body and what it was for! She looked quite shocked. "A patient asking questions TUT TUT!" Basically I was in a ward with two other very sick ladies and left there for five and a quarter hours having my chemo (Paclitaxel and Carboplatin) The staff only really spoke to me when they needed my details. (NICE EH!) No I tell a lie...........I was watching the timer on the chemo machine and this nusre came in the ward, saw me doing that and said, "It won't go any faster with you watching it" and walked of. Now I've been a female bouncer for five years and I don't speak to people like that and had I'd known that I could have unplugged the machine, I would of gone after her and grabbed her by her wind pipe! Where the hell was the reassuring smile, the are you alright my love or the touch that says it will be ok, there was nothing. My partner Kev turned up about 10 minutes before my treatment was finished and I was ready to explode, what if I had been scared, what if I had no support, I could not beleive the coldness of it all. I worked within the caring profession for 19 years and I made sure that I had time to give someone a smile, a touch, it doesn't take much, maybe I am stupid thinking that other people would be the same as me. I couldn't get out that hospital quick enough. No one would ever make me feel that way again (how wrong I was on that to!) I could have understood the staffs behaviour if they had been busy, but they weren't. Just to lighten this a little.........nearly four months on, I have a bald head with a few strands of blond hair trying to sprout, my eyebrows have gone but I still look SEXY, my bikini line is gone, with that I am delighted (never could keep that under control!!!) my legs a lovely and smooth, ansome.........my greatest fear is what will happen when all this hair grows back, my friends and I have this vision of me waking up one morning looking like COUSIN IT from the Addams Family!!!!!!!!! What ever you are going through at this time, I send my love and my best and my thoughts XXX