Hi guys..first of all thank you as always for your incredible support. What a stressful day it has been but the news is ok. My tumours have grown only slightly and so far only my right kidney has been killed off by the cancer but the left one is clear and my other vital organs are safe for now, I also have new tumours but I knew that anyway. They were going to restart treatment but have decided that my body can't take it right now seeing I have survived so much hard chemos for so long. The plan is now to let me rest and regain strength both mentally and physically and be checked every month by bloods and how I feel, I must say that I am happy with this and now all I have to do is try and pick myself upoff the floor and slowly find some energy and carry on reaching for those goals that I made. I do feel like a train has hit me at the moment but I am glad to be able to say that to you guys and know that it is ok to feel that way. You guys have given me so much strength over the last 3 years and even though most of us will never meet, you guys are the best friends I have ever had and are very important to me and I will be there for you as long as I can. The only thing today that has been upsetting is that Kev my ex who is riddled with guilt will not leave me alone and I have made it clear that it is too late and has thrown up the past to my daughter of something that happened when she was 14, she is now 31 and the best daughter I could wish for, he comes on this site, I don't need or want anymore stress from anywhere, I want to enjoy what is the rest of my life in peace so this needs to stop. Right my friends I need to go and lay down and unwind. It is the start of a new day tomorrow and time for some Kezzerbird arse kicking to start. Thank you guys so very much....love Carol xx
I am not dying of cancer, I am living with it
