Help me out here guys

That is a toughy, Kez.  Children shouldn't be used as tools in family breakdowns, but I know all too well that they often are.  My own partner hasn't seen his 2 kids in almost 12 years and neither have his parents.  Like you, his parents and the kids were completely innocent pawns in the battle between my partner and his ex.

You say Evie's mum wants you to see her, so why don't you?  If you can keep the past out of it (and try to forget that she's a bunny boiler) maybe you and Evie's mum can come to some arrangement whereby you can see her regularly.  And if at some point she does tell you to sod off, well is it not better to have loved and lost?  I dunno...mad ramblings here!!

Marsha x

Carol

For what it's worth, I think you  should take up the chance to see Evie, Her mother may be a bunny boiler but she is giving you the opportunity to see your grandaughter, grab it with both hands, and if it turns out that she turns and stops yo seeing her, as heartbroken as you may be, you will have beautiful memories of your grandchild, I think it's worth the risk, because if you don't you may always regret it..

Her mother is  probably offering the olive branch and whatever happeded between her and you son, she is not holding against you, go enjoy your grandchild  and let the future take care of itself, as  tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Good luck

Jo Mac

dear kezzerbird

what a tabled web we weave with families these days - unfortunately, it happens when partners break up!  however, the children didn't ask to be part of the adults' emotional problems/games.  you are their gran and, if you want to be a part of  your grandkids lives the best thing you could do would be to not get involved in YOUR childrens' emotional problems.  you will always  be there for your children no matter what but if you want to love your childrens children, you have to literally NOT get involved in the turmoil.  Also, as hard as it is you have to do what's in the best interest of your grandchildren  - you cannot enter their lives, love them and leave them.  youre either there or not.  If you can't be there because you have your own life to deal with right now, which should be paramount, you could always open an account for them or make a box up with things about you and gifts for them on birthdays etc., which, in time, will be their link with you.  I hope you are able to find peace with this very difficult situation, but you have to come first right now for your own health and I wish you luck.

I agree with Marsha Carol, Evie is an innocent child who deserves to meet her grandmother (maybe I am biased after my own blog today) dontcha think.  I mean, she has this awesome Granny/Nanny whatever you liked to be called.

Debs xx

I think Carol that I agree with Marsha, so long as you can keep out of the politics of the relationship (or lack of) and just see your grandchild. If your cancer does return well at least your conscience will be clear and you will have seen Evie.

Love Teri