Had a really bad day

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

22 Sep 2009

My Dad had an appointment with the oncologist today and still nothing is offered. He did not seem keen to refer him to a homeapathic doctor and reluctantly offered him a blood transfusion to give him a temporary boost

Still no info and no clear diagnosis even though from the first appointment i felt that he was not going to offer him anything.

How can you do that to another human being, not even offer them any hope, or even the truth so that they can get their head around it and do the things they want to when they feel fit enough?

I feel so helpless and want to help him in any way i can, each person we see either GP, Oncologist or palliative care case worker all tell us conflicting information about who to contact if we are worried.

I think they forget this is a first time experience for my Dad and it is not a learning curve he will not get another stab at it.!!

Sorry for the rant but i feel really sad and panicky, we thought because he was so much better they would at least offer him chemo today and the only thing we came away with is desperation.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Kar,

So sorry to hear about your dad, I really do hope they can give your dad a diagnosis soon. It is so frustrating not knowing whether you are coming or going. But one thing is for sure he is lucky to have your support. All you can do is keep offering your support and if you need any extra help, support or guidance I've always found the Community Palliative carer nurse points me in the right direction.

Has your dad got ongoing investigations and further appointments to find out the diagnosis?

Good luck and wish you all the best, I hope you find an answer soon x
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Don't be sorry for ranting - as rants go that was nothing - it all sounds very confusing.

I hope you find at least one member of your Dads care team that you can strike a good relationship up with and start getting the answers you need (even if they are not what you want).

Best wishes to your Dad and good luck with his journey through this.

Debs xx
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Thanks Reneesha and Debs,

This site although stange at the moment but it is a life line.It helps so much to know there are friends on here

I made a nuisance of myself which is something I did not want to do as everyone seems reluctant to talk although the nurse practioner told me to expect about 4 to 6 weeks before he starts going down hill fast,

The strange thing is he seems to be better by the day! He has ben cleaning the car, clearing out the shed, gardening. cutting up wood. I just do not know what to think

We went to see a dietician today and she told him his notes said confirmed diagnosis pancriatic cancer without biopsy,

nobody has yet told him it was confirmed, she said she could not give him anymore info because it was not her area, do they not know how hearing info this way effects us all?

Dad still has a good appetite and has only lost about a stone so far and seems stable at the moment he has a lot more energy and his jaundice and itching has improved.

I feel blessed everyday that he still feels well.

I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible and I am attending all the hospital visits to support him so at least there is something i can do to help

I am taking him out to the New forest and hopefully Mudeford tomorrow and he is really looking forward to it I think the more we can do while he is well the better

I am also hoping we can get to the homeapathic doctor while he is still feeling well

Please keep in touch and thanks again for all your support xx
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