So ive just got my diagnosis finally after about 4 months of worrying and being fobbed off by the first hospital that were dealing with me. I first found a lump in my neck but thought nothing of it until a few more emerged, then I went to my GP but still had no idea it would be this. After having a few blood tests, an xray and an ultrasound of my neck at the one hospital, I was told on the phone that I had nothing to worry about, everything was fine and was given a routine follow up appointment about 2 months later. After a few weeks, I noticed a lump under my arm and one in my groin, now I was worrying again :( so I went back to my GP who told me I shouldve had a biopsy already and referred me back to the hospital as a matter of urgency. A few more weekd went on and I had heard nothing, so left several messages on the doctors secretarys answerphone until finally getting through and being tol it wasnt important enough and that I would have to wait. I was then rushed to a different hospital with appendicitus, and had it removed, and on the xray they took of my abdominal/chest area there was a shadow in my lung which turned out to be more lymph glands. This now meant that this hospital was dealing with it. They were very quick and did the biopsy on my neck within 2 weeks. I got my diagnosis last friday and was reffered to Royal Marsden for treatment. I am now awaiting a bone marrow sample (which im terrified about!) and a PET scan to determine the stage, and then will start my chemotherapy. I was told I should cut my hair short to prepare for losing it, but as someone with terrible self confidence anyway, I dont think I can bring myself to do it. I feel fine right now, and doing that would make it all seem real :( Im terrified about starting chemo, Ive scared myself silly reading about all the possible side effects...some days im feeling strong and like I just want to get it started and fight it, but other days I feel sad, angry, or kind of in denial and confusion that to get rid of this disease inside me I have to go through months of feeling awful when at the moment I feel perfectly fine, I just cant get my head around it. It would be great to hear some honest advice and information from people about the treatment and how im going to feel, because im struggling to keep a brave face :(
