Sad - Can anyone give please pass on their advice/experience re how to stop feeling sad in happy times? Every bloody (are we allowed to say that?!) happy moment, experience, sight or feeling is tinged with sadness for both of us. We so want to live life here and now in the land of the living BUT how do we block the section of our brains that insists on chucking a sad thought in at a happy moment?!!! Its stopping us in our tracks and is really getting on our nerves!!
Proud - cos our daughter Thorne's A level results were bloody (are we allowed to say that?!) amazing!! (sorry, no-one likes a smug mother do they?!) but good news is very welcome in this house.
Dangerous - cos I was riding my Harley D into our drive (we live in a house rented by the Army on a farm in Bavaria) with David behind me on his... Well, me being a girl with a girl's sense of driving awareness(no offence to capable girls of course), I didn't see that our lovely landlord had put up the wooden pole that stops the cows getting into the drive as he walks them in to the barn for the night! First and last time I have or ever will NOT WEAR GLOVES due to sunny weather. I managed the required emergency stop before I was decapitated, HOWEVER, I also managed to fall ungracefully off onto gravel (but nobody saw - whew), hands shredded - but hey, plus point - bike OK (husbands priority).
Humiliating - Getting bike-dressed for our Harley weekend, only to find that due to David's predicament and me trying to fatten him up with a high KCal diet.... I now fit HIS larger bike jeans bought last year and... he now fits MY smaller bike jeans bought last year. Nice weekend - though David not good yesterday so spent most of it in hotel bed or watching athletics rather than going on the big Harley ride over the Alps (I secretly breathed a sigh of relief cos thought it was too much for him so soon anyway) - but commiserated appropriately of course.
Nervous - Flying (business class don't you know - thanks taxpayers) to UK tom (leave at 8am) for appointment at Guys (4pm). David has 10 small secondary tumours in his lungs (that we know of) - and as he is only 7 weeks post oeophagectomy, not sure and nervous about the options/chemo treatments open to him. Wish us luck guys and girls - will blog on our return. Much love - Jules xxx
FormerMember
Hi Jules
All the very best for tomorrows appointment, really hope that the news is good.
snap i know exactly how you feel and its really not nice everything is tinged with sadness even when i am overjoyed at anything it is always hanging over me
does this get better do you think?
good luck for your hubbys next appointment
and here is to a good day tomorrow xxxx
they say there is always light at the end of the tunnel !!!!!!!!!!
I’ll be thinking of you both tomorrow at your appointment at Guys and keeping my fingers crossed that all will be well and that your team has a suitable treatment plan lined up. Take one step at a time and you’ll deal with this. Sending you hugs and good energy.
