Its been 3 months now since chemo finished and have thrown myself into getting back to 'normal' but feel like I am moving in circles instead of forward. On one hand I do feel much better, each week I feel stronger and have been enjoying getting a bit of fitness back with a bit of swimming and gym class................and my other favourite exercise..........shopping :-) Then on the other hand my appointment for Jimmys to discuss radiotherapy has come through for next Tuesday............
Have been trying to get back to work part time to start with, consultant said no reason why I shouldn't, so approached my manager at beginning of June. Thing is they talk a good talk with phased return and home working and organising appointment with occupational health to sort it but nothing materialises. At moment am in no pay so am claiming employment and support allowance and have to go to a work based interview on 27th so not sure what will happen there, was hoping to be able to give some idea of when I would be going back. Not heard anything back from medical form I filled in so not sure what will happen on that side of it.
I think its just that I feel well at minute and feel a bit like I'm 'skiving off' now and have been out and about and enjoying feeing well...............am so grateful for that...............but also everything is a bit up in the air because I've got the radiotherapy sorted yet...........maybe that's why work are stalling.
On the hair front I am pleased to say I have brows and lashes now and the head hair is coming slowly, have a short covering everywhere except for temples where there is just fluff. Still too embarrased to take my bandana off in public, wearing a cap for swimming too (really uncomfortable.............like trying to pull a condom on your head lol!) but it is coming back but lots of white at front and brown with specks of white at back. Used to dye it regularly and didn't realise how much white I had got.............not sure that I want to start dyeing it again though. Will have to cancel that hairdresser appointment that I had for 31st July though, too much optimism when I booked it :-D
Going on holiday to Newquay at beginning of August and really looking forward to that, hopefully will have come to a decision on radiotherapy by then. Feels like rock and hard place at moment because want the cure that radiotherapy could bring but consultant not sure if damage that could be caused to my lungs outweighs the benefits that I could get. Hard to stop mulling it over but think am going to have to try hard to leave it until I've been to Jimmys next week.
Anyway think I'm just waffling about now so will leave it at that..............thanks for reading x
