hi again am so worried about mum she has lymphoma non- hodgkins .
she had her first chemo last week .went and saw her every day she is tired all the time and she on pain killers for her tumor which is in her arm .she sleeps all day only when someones walks in like my dad or family she is a wake for a little bit. i put this down to her drugs and chemo but not sure she lost some weight and dont look her seft at all . she never say much any more to the family its like she has gone which really upsets me seeing her like this and not knowing what to do . i talk to her about every day life and just being there for mum . will mum ever be the same , she will always be my mum which i love so much but the pain of seeing her like this is upsetting for me and the family as i feel so helpless not knowing what to do for mum. i know just being there helps but i want to do more for mum . sorry to go on its so upsetting to see mum like this .
FormerMember
You are doing all the right things, the chemo will make you mum really tired and lethargic. Also it is sometimes an effort for her to talk but based on what my husband told me as he was the one going through the chemo. Me being there was enough for him, I spent many an hour reading while he was asleep and the look on his face when he woke up was enough to keep me going, sometimes he opened his eyes just to make sure I was there and went back to sleep.It is really difficult to watch them go through this it makes you feel useless , frustrated, angry all sorts of emotions are going through your mind but this is all normal. /so just do what you do best go and speak to you mum that will be enough for her just knowing that you are there.
Your feelings and fears are normal , when someone we love is diagnosed with cancer, we are all gripped with fear of what lies ahead. When my mum was having her chemo there were a lot of scary moments, and we thought the tears would never stop. To watch her sleep all the time and be sick with the drugs was the worst thing, and she didn't feel like talking much either.
Your Mum will also be trying to deal with this emotionally as well as physically, and that must be terrible for her, she will be worried (as all you patients out there will agree) about how this is affecting her loved ones and she will think she is "putting you through this" You and I both know this cancer has no mercy and she has no choice, but in my experience my sister and mother feel "guilty " for inflicting this pain on their family.
Just be there for her and support her as best you can, becauses she needs you more now than she ever has, and yes hopefully when the treatment is over you will get your mum back, maybe not 100% because it will have scarred her emotionally, but you will get her back.
