Hi everyone.
Hope somebody can reassure me. My mother has just been diagnosed with bladder cancer and has had a CT scan today and will see the consultant on the 15th to find out if it has spread. My fear is that she has been suffering from what we were told by her GP were urine infections for almost two years now. She was admitted as an emergency on two occasions in May because she was unable to pass urine, but she has just been diagnosed now. Does the fact that she has been unwell for so long mean that the cancer is likely to have spread? I want to be prepared so that I can help her. She is a very young 82 year old and is being very strong but I'm so worried.
Any help would be very much appreciated.
Jen
FormerMember
Hi Jen - and it's true isn't it? Our Mums are so very, very special and when anything happens to them which threatens them in any way, we go into tigress mode, willing to fight anything or anybody. Jen, I don't want to give you false information, but not long ago I remember a friend telling me that she had read an article, regarding cancers occurring in elderly people. I know, I know - your Mum is a very "young" 82, but she still has 82 years under her belt. Apparently this article said that certain cancers in older people did not grow at the same rate as in younger people. I can't remember exactly, but it was all to do with things slowing down a tad as we get older. A DEFINITE plus for both of you, is that your Mum is being very strong at the moment. Of course this doesn't mean that you don't worry yourself sick about her. If I had to lay my money on a bet, I'd say your Mum will come out on top - if she has any say in it, eh? Get all the information you can from the medical professionals, as arming yourself with knowledge is NEVER a bad thing when you're preparing to fight cancer. Also, make sure you have everything in place that you feel you and your Mum will benefit from. I tell people that the one thing I've learnt since being diagnosed is that you often have to raise your voice and be quite adamant (stubborn even) in order to have all your questions answered - never stop asking the doctors and nurses questions, and if you do not understand the answer; ask them to explain it until you do, ok? Another important thing; look after yourself, keep positive and stay strong. We cancer sufferers depend on the people who love us, and if they fall ill, who on earth will look after us with the same love and attention that you lavish on us? Just take it one day at a time, don't lose heart and make great memories every day, ok? Hold on tight to each other, with love from kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Jen,so sorry to hear about your mother,it is such a worry for you,you can only be guided by the doctors and try to focus on a day at a time ,it is difficult to know if the problems your mum had for the past 2 years are connected to her recent diagnosis but you should try to focus on getting her through this and only try to deal with whats happening at the moment, looking back or looking too far ahead is so draining and you need all your energy to help her and to look after yourself, the fact that she is an active 82 year old will be a big help in her recovery and quality of life after treatment.
Thank you both for your kind replies. After reading some of the of the posts, I realise that my mother has really done very well to reach the age she has, when so many other people who are suffering from this terrible illness are so much younger. However, I do know something about what they and their families must be feeling.
My son is 30, and he has a heart and lung conditon which is terminal. We have known this since he was two, but he has started to deteriorate this year, after being stable for many years. At the moment, he is on drugs, but they will not last forever and he has already lived longer than some other people with this condition. Most people with it die in their twenties. I'm only writing this to say that I know that my mother is lucky, compared to many of you, but she is still my mother and I love her.
