today i should be happy its Mothers Day i got the loveliest presents from my kids lovely card flowers chocs and a beautiful laser light and all ive done since i got up is cry at every turn how can i be so sad when ive got the best kids in the world and all i can think about is not being here for them its not like me at all im usually so determined strong and a fighter maybe its the chemo getting me down have been so sick with it today but i dont want to be sick today i want to be well and not ill all the time i want to be able to go back to being normal me with no bloody thoughts of chemo and illness amd looking at my reflection in the mirror and not recognising the person looking back that isnt me at all !!!
i know i need a good kick up the backside but just had to get this horrid self pitying feeling out of me because im so fed up of it im crying again and even my eyes hurt sorry everyone il be back to normal tomorrow hopefully life sure sucks sometimes !!!!!
love to everyone sorry im such a miserable sod today of all days
love and hugs jen xxxx
