when i was diagnosed with cancer in oct 2010 like everyone else i was just going to work leading a normal life and seeing my friends every so often and then the devastation set in!!!!
the disbelieving and the feeling of total despair and why me syndrome then i shook myself off and thought oh no bloody way is this bloody thing getting to me so overnight i changed from being a snivelling mess who couldnt look at my kids without crying to where i am today positive and taking each day as it arrives but the thing i was so shocked at was how many of my FRIENDS i can actually say have visited me or even text me since october so here is what happened last week
i got a text from a friend who i have known for nearly 20 yrs she lives only a short walking distance from me and although we didnt see each other for weeks sometimes when i was up her way id knock and have a quick cuppa and a catch up( her son pals about with mine ) anyway she did appear and we chatted although i did notice she was nervous and for her thats so unusual she stayed for an hour and when she was going i said to her you know cris im still me even though i have shaved my hair off and i have cancer she looked at me and said i know im so sorry i just havent known what to say to you thats why i havent come down but i will be down to see you more often !!!!
i felt so hurt really deep down i wanted to scream at her and say ive got cancer why dont you understand im not a leper i am still the same person i was and i dont need to be shut away from soceity like someone with the dreaded plague then i realised that the word cancer frightens so many people and felt sorry for her and not me !!!
when cancer touches your life its awful for everyone and id just like to say when your friends and family stand by you and are there for you they are very special people and im so lucky to have them in my life the ones who dont want to stop and chat when you see them in the street or its so obvious when they see you in the shop and avoid you well its their loss and i feel so sad for them
im so happy that this week is the week for discussing the word cancer and how many different meanings that word actually portrays to so many different people and to all my friends on here thank you so much for making my cancer journey so much better what i would do without your kind words love n hugs tips encouragement etc etc i so dont know so thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart
love and hugs jen xxxx
